Billboards
03/12/2004
There are billboards all around Tucson that say:
"Life Really Is This Good!"
(They are advertisements for an adult-living community.)
I noticed them when we first got to town, and I sensed inside that I might be
writing about them, but just didn't know just why or when.
Well, when is today!
And why is because:
"Life Really Is This Good!"
We have been here just over a week and life is good! Jim's job training is going well and he is even doing extra work like putting one of their instruction manuals on PowerPoint for them. Makes me wonder if he supposed to be out walking the gas lines, or if he is supposed to be on the computer! Not really, he is just volunteering to do something that he is good at to help out his instructor. He has had years in the computer industry and he is ready for a change.
We joked before we got here that his new job would include a lighter. You see, when we get to each new location he will be walking around looking for natural gas leaks. What better way to find a gas leak than with a lighter!! We joked, and then we found out that one of the main detection instruments that he will be using has a flame in it!! I asked him if his life insurance was paid up, and it is! But seriously, this is a reputable firm that has been in business since the 30's and I don't think they have lost too many employees along the way or they would have told him, right?....right?!!
Jim is in training here for about three weeks, lots of class instruction, lots of on-the-job training and then we will be sent to the next location for one more week of training before they set him lose with his very own "lighter!" He is excited!! Aren't you Jim?!
As Jim goes off to work each day, leaving in the wee hours of the morning, I wake just before sunrise and watch the sun come up right outside my bedside window. This is not normal for me...I normally enjoy sunsets much more than sunrises because I am not a morning person!! Has God transformed me so much that I will rise and shine with the chickens now, or are the years starting to catch up with me? Time will tell!
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| Sunrise out my window! |
As I watch the sun come up, I am excited to get up and start my day!
So, blurry-eyed and pajama clad I make my way into the only other room in our RV, the
kitchen/dining-room/living-room/office...need I go on? It's all contained just outside
our bedroom door. We only have a little less than 400 square feet of living space and
it's huge compared to most RV's! This is the Taj Mahal!!
After stumbling down the two-foot hall, the three stairs and around the end of the kitchen counter, I find my cup and make some coffee. It tastes good so early in the morning. I also noticed that as the sun was coming up on one side of our "home" the moon was still up on the other side! What a treat!
We are surrounded by distant mountains, which enhance the sunrises and the sunsets, especially on days like today when there are clouds in the sky! We have had an unusually warm spell this week, in the high 80's, but things are cooling off a bit now. We should be back to the low 70's soon, and stay there for a while. But enough with the weather report from Tucson. You can get that on The Weather Channel.
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| Prince of Tucson RV Park |
Sunset out our front door! |
Sunset reflecting on our home |
After grabbing my coffee and having switched on my laptop, I check to see if any new "mail" has arrived over night! It is always fun to get notes from friends and family far away because life on the road can get kind of lonely...this is just to add a note of misery here so you don't all go selling your homes and hitting the road full-time too...not a chance of that? Why not?
When the "mail" call is finished, I sit with my coffee as the sun is streaming in to the right of me and open my morning devotional. Right now it is, "My Utmost For His Highest." It has taken me years to finally buy one of these but now I know why Oswald Chambers is so often quoted, he is full of God's Wisdom! It seems each day I find so much truth in just the three to four paragraphs allotted to that day! Amazing!
After that, with my coffee just about finished, I am ready to dive into my prayer time full-force, finding my way to The Most Holy Place. There is no better way to start each day. It doesn't matter what mood I am in when I get up, when I am finished spending this morning time with God, I am lifted, encouraged and ready to do His will.
This morning, I do have to say I woke up feeling GREAT!! I had the most amazing dream of Phil. I was able to touch him and kiss him and talk with him! When I woke up, I was so comforted by the "dream-time" I had been able to spend with him, it probably wouldn't have mattered what kind of day I had after that. I am always thankful when God fills my nights with dreams of my son! They are special gifts that I cherish.
After spending time in God's presence, I then dive into the tasks of the day. Now, this is a bit more simplified considering I don't have a yard to water or mow or weed. We do have a front lawn, but it doesn't grow and it doesn't require water. All it requires is to be rolled up and stowed away when we move our home!
Also, I don't have any toys strewn about. I do have one coloring book and some
color crayons in a certain drawer to entertain our soon-to-be granddaughter. On
July 3rd, Chris and Holly will say "I do" or "I will" or whatever they are
required to say these days!
Denell comes along at the age of six to be our new granddaughter, and she
already knows how to color!! No diapers here! We are starting out right!! Just
to let you know also, Jimm and Cami have settled on their date! They will wed on
October 16th, 2004. Phil would have been 19 years old on that day, and as Pastor
Dave put it, it is "poetic." I think that describes it perfectly! We think it is
wonderful!
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| Our New Family |
Back to the morning chores...the few dishes I have, if I have not done them from the night before go into our cute little dishwasher...yes in an RV. This is first class! Thank you God! The bed does need to be made, and since my mother never let me leave the house without making mine while I was growing up, old habits die hard...it gets made!
Showers are quick, dress is casual, shoes are optional and then off I go! Ready to start my day at work...right here, in our RV. What a commute!!
With Jim gone until late afternoon, I go into my "office" which could either be my recliner with my laptop...on my lap, of all places, or I set myself up at the computer desk under the TV and use the larger computer to do more creative types of work! Microsoft Publisher is installed on that one! Yes, we are computer junkies with two laptops and a desktop in our 400 square feet of living space, but remember what Jim used to do for a living? Okay then.
Since pulling into town, I have had the pleasure of working on a booklet entitled, "What in God's Name do I do now?" I know that this is God's perfect timing in giving me this "assignment." I told Jim he has a boss and he gets paid, I have a Boss and I work for free! That works for us!!
This booklet is full of all the things God has shown me, all the "tools" I have used and am using and all the lessons I have learned about the journey through grief and beyond. I read books on grieving when Phil died, but I remember thinking there really is no "instruction manual" for this...I didn't know what was normal, what was not. I didn't know if I would actually go crazy, or if it just felt that way. I didn't even know if God was truly capable of healing my heart, but I thought I would give Him a try, and He has and is to this day. These are a few of the many things included in this booklet and I pray that it will help others on this journey find their way. It has been an awesome first assignment as we start out this life on the road that God has brought us to. (If you would like a copy of this booklet, fresh off the "presses" here in our RV, just e-mail me with your address and I will send you one! If you don't need one, maybe you know someone who does!)
Which brings me today, now that you have been filled in on all the intimate inner workings of life in an RV with Diane Shore! As if you really need to know all this stuff, but I thought I'd share anyway!
Oh, I do need to tell you that there are days when laundry needs to be done, and we bought a special little cart so I can strap the bags on and make my way over to the laundry room, fill the washing machines, fill the dryers and be back home in an hour or two! Done for another week or more.
The groceries are another errand that needs to be run, interrupting my already very busy day, but hey, somebody has to do it!!
Back to today, when I felt the need to relax a bit from this "hectic" schedule. I stopped my morning/early afternoon production on the booklet since it was getting down to the last finishing touches-and made my way over to the pool for the first time since arriving here. I set myself up with music, a good book, water and anything else I might need, and I was set. I decided to sun a bit, and then tested out the pool temperature, which was perfect. I happened to be the only one there because the weather, like I said, is starting to turn cooler and it was only 80 and getting cloudy. I got in the pool anyway, doing about ½ hour of laps because one can't sit in an RV all day and wear off any calories that way!
After my laps the breeze felt cool, since I was wet, so I headed to the spa--and there, my friends, is where I came to the full realization that:
"Life Really Is This Good!"
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| Tucson Mountains |
As I sat back in the warm water, under the cloudy skies of Tucson, not only was my body saturated with water, my heart was so saturated with the peace of God, I could scarcely contain it! (Prince of Peace...Prince of Tucson RV Park-what a great first stop.) I thought back over the last eight years of our lives and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that hard times do not last. Eight years ago, in May, Phil was diagnosed with Leukemia while we were living in Germany. Our whole lives changed from that moment on, and it has been a battle beyond battles to get to this point today.
After five and a half years of clinic visits and hospital stays and infusions and injections and spinal taps and bone marrow tests and chemotherapy and radiation and nausea and hair loss and lack of energy, God said, "Enough." He took our son home to be with Him and to live eternally in the bliss of Heaven. Phil deserved that! He had done enough for anyone ten times his age, and I am happy for him! I told him I would be happy for him. I told him when I got very sad--I would remember how good he feels. I know he feels good today, and I am happy to report that I feel good today too.
God gave me the sweetest dream of my son last night, and it seemed I had been
with him for a brief moment in time--it was awesome! I have not touched my son,
kissed my son, or talked to my son in such a long time. Normally, in my dreams,
even if he is there, it is not like that. This was special.
Was God preparing me for what was to follow today?
Was He wanting me to tell all of you:
"Life Really Is This Good!"
Had He brought me to this day so that I could write about it all tonight? I
believe so. Sitting there in the spa under the grandeur of His skies, life was
good after life has been so very hard!
Devastating!
But hard times don't last, even though it seems they will, forever! The only
thing that is forever is God's love for us! He is always watching, always
helping, and always wanting the best for us. Sometimes, most times, He just has
to work it out His way because His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His
ways are higher than our ways! I understand that more then ever now.
As I sat in the spa today, it did not bring my son back to me, it did not bring my friends and family close to me or familiar surroundings back to me. I was alone, not one other person was there at the pool with me. I was alone in my thoughts, but never really alone because God is right here with me, always. I heard it said that the best place to be is right where God wants you. I believe I am in the best place to be, because I believe this is right where God wants me, and Jim. He has brought us here, he has designed this for us, and He continues to lead us through each day.
Getting here was no easy task. After five and a half years of illness, and saying good-bye to Phil, we were grieved. Our hearts were broken...shattered! We wondered if we would ever feel joy again. Weeks went by, then months, then years, until it has been almost two and a half years now. Not long at all for grief, really.
During those two and a half years, we walked through the valley of the shadow of death. It was dark and it was painful and scary and it was very lonely at times. There was only one thing we were sure of, if God's promises were true, then we were going to survive this. I say if, because we were not even sure if all His promises were true. We had never tested them to this extent before! We were willing to give it to God and see if He really could help us and if He really could heal our hearts...He has and He continues to do so!! All His promises are more true to us today than they have ever been!
As time went on and with God's guidance, we started preparing to get an RV, find the right truck and see what could be done about bringing our motorcycle along with us. It all took time and investigation and big steps of faith. We had yard sales and gave things away and threw stuff away and down-sized our belongings to a wall of boxes and this RV that we live in today. There were many steps along the way, and most of them were taken without knowing what would be. I remember sitting in a hotel room in Tahoe on the week of what would have been Phil's 17th birthday, having just signed on the dotted line that we would buy this RV. That was a huge step considering Jim had just been laid off from his job!
The time came, five months later, when our "home" was finished and it was time to move into it! We were so excited! We went up to Sacramento with a new friend of ours to pick it up!! It was beautiful! After getting it back to the Bay Area, we were parked in Wal-Mart. One night just before going to sleep, Jim and I had a conversation about our "situation." We were agreed that God had brought us this far, and if that meant sleeping in Wal-Mart each night, we were willing to do that. We had no idea where else we were going to park this huge thing!
The next day, this same new friend who went with us to pick up our RV invited us out to their property in Castro Valley. They said we could park there, for about two weeks. We stayed for seven months, with their permission, before we left their property. God had provided, God knew where we would park this huge RV, but we didn't. We were trusting Him and we were not disappointed. He had truly blessed us through our new friends!
As we left the Bay Area in September of 2003 for a four-month journey, we were again very excited! It seemed God was finally calling us to the road to serve Him, but we just weren't sure what the "serving" would look like. Heading out to the mission field, so to speak, without a field.
Never fear, God brought so many interesting people and situations across our path we were never without something to do for Him. We were encouraged and we were able to encourage others along the way, as well as visit with family and many old friends that we had known overseas.
This entire trip seemed to be a preparation of sorts. We changed our home state to Florida, since we no longer resided in California, and Florida is less expensive for full-time RVers. We acquired a satellite dish in Phoenix so we can connect to the Internet from our "home." We had been using friends' connections and Kinkos along the way. God took care of so many physical needs in preparation for what He was calling us to, like getting our home repaired at the factory in Wyoming also. But that was not all He had for us to do. God also continued to prepare our hearts to serve Him.
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| Getting our Internet Connection | We are Cali-Floridians Now! |
I remember vividly in September pulling out of the Bay Area and starting to look FOR God. Wondering what I should be doing, I needed to get busy...work, work, work...when God let me know-stop looking FOR Me, look TO Me and I will show Myself to you. He surely has as I have spent time with Him each day. On the way back from Florida, having connected with our friends there and their church family, I sensed God saying-now listen to my voice very carefully. Obey what I am saying to You. This again became a learning experience in growing closer to Him each day.
We arrived back in the Bay Area in January of 2004, excited to be with everyone again and able to visit our home church!! It was a great and very busy, busy time for us! My parents celebrated their 50th anniversary, so all the family gathered for that. The neat thing was that not only were we then able to spend time with Chris, Holly and Denell, but our son Jimm and his fiancé Cami flew in for a week from Oregon! God is good!
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| Diane's Parent's 50th Anniversary |
During that month, we were waiting...waiting on a job that Jim had heard about in April of 2003. A job that would help with our fuel, our over-night parking, and even included a salary with benefits. But was this really what God had in mind for us? Jim had been unemployed for over a year. We questioned, should we wait? The "what if's" started creeping into our minds. Our flesh wanted to run out and swoop up the first available jobs to get some of this debt cleared up, but our spirits said wait on God. I've heard it said when God is about to move, things heat up! They did!
But, we waited and then word came...Jim got the job!! We would be off to Tucson for training! Once again, we were so excited to think that this was really what God did have for us, and we had not waited in vain. That waiting stuff...sometimes it can be the toughest!
After a whirlwind of activities in the Bay Area, and times where encouragement was given and received, it was time to leave for Tucson for training. We said our good-byes and left after church on Sunday the 29th of February!! That day won't come around again soon! We were tired, but our hearts were full of joy! After all the preparation time, almost two years since we first stepped into an RV at the Pleasanton Fairgrounds and said, "We could live in this." We really were living in it, and we really were on the road full time, and God had provided for us each step of the way. Even when we were standing on shaky legs, filled with fear, He said, "Wait on Me. I will show you the way. I will provide for you. You will not be disappointed." Did we hear those words exactly? Yes we did, they are written in His Word, in the Bible, and we read them every day, and they are true for all of us!
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| Leaving California Behind |
So as I sat in the spa in Tucson today, getting close to putting the finishing touches on my first assignment here, a booklet on the journey through grief. I was filled to overflowing with all that God has done and continues to do! So many things that did not have a face to them, now do. So many questions have now been answered. (Remember the e-mail, "Questions Without Answers"?) So many lessons that we needed to learn, have been learned! We know it is just the beginning of all that God has planned for the rest of our lives and just the beginning of millions of things He has yet to teach us, but right now we feel like we have graduated from kindergarten and almost everything we know, we learned there!!
Yes, "Life Really Is This Good" when God is your Shepherd. You shall not want. He will let you rest in green meadows. He will lead you beside peaceful streams. He will renew your strength. He will guide you along right paths bringing honor to His name. Even if you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, you don't need to be afraid, He is right there beside you. His rod and His staff will protect and comfort you. He will prepare a feast for you in the presence of your enemies, inviting you as a guest. He will anoint your head with oil and your cup will overflow with blessings. Surely His goodness and His unfailing love will pursue you all the days of your life as you live in His house forever!! AMEN! (Psalm 23)
We thank you God, and will continue to follow You, wherever You lead!! After all is said and done, after all the tears are cried, after all the thousands of questions without answers, after stepping out in faith and wondering where it would lead...
"Life Really Is This Good!"
We are extremely grateful as we enjoy God's many blessings on this day!
Jim and Diane
