Great Joy!
07/12/2004
As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” (Ephesians 5:31 NLT)
May I share with all of you about one of the best days of my life? Will you bear with me as a mother pours out her heart once again, not to tell of her great sorrow but of her great joy? Will you travel through this journey with me as I relive the events that have brought me to my laptop on this day?
Our son, Christopher Michael Shore wed his beautiful bride, Holly Denell Jackson on July 3, 2004. I wish we could have invited the world to witness this event in our family, but being that it was not possible to invite all those we love and care about, I hope that through this message you will be able to “witness” this event through the words that God will give me to describe it.
How does a mother describe this day?
How do I tell you of the joy that fills my heart?
Maybe it’s best to start at the beginning…
Holly and Chris at rehearsal dinner.
Chris and Holly met four and a half years ago while both working at the Macaroni Grill Restaurant in Dublin, California. Having waited tables side by side for a bit of time, Chris then moved down to San Diego for a year with some buddies, leaving his friend Holly here in the Bay Area. Little did we know that when he moved home a year later, he was most anxious to see his “friend” again! While we dined at the grill with Chris and our youngest son Phil, we were introduced to Holly. To tell you the truth, I don’t remember that introduction, and I joke now that if I’d known she was going to be my daughter-in-law I would have paid closer attention!! We met many people at the grill each time we went in, as Chris once again got a job waiting tables there alongside Holly. He eventually moved on to bar tending, which he does to this day. Holly now works at a mortgage company.
The first time I “remember” meeting Holly was on Chris’ 21st birthday. We were headed to San Francisco to see “Stomp” and have dinner at Ruth’s Chris’ Steak House. We were celebrating Chris’ special day as a family, now with one member not able to be with us. I remember telling Chris how nice it was to have Holly join us because there would still be five of us, Holly would be there in place of Phil…Chris gently said to me something to the effect that Holly could not take Phil’s place. I knew exactly what he meant and agreed, but was still thankful to have such a lovely young woman join us on that evening, one whom Chris seemed very taken with. I knew that Chris’ heart was still heavy being that Phil had only been gone from us for only three and a half months, and Holly seemed to be a gift to Chris from God on that day, and still is.
Time passed and as our hearts healed from losing Phil, Chris and Holly’s hearts grew more and more in love. Their love included Holly’s little daughter Denell, now age six. When Chris and Holly became engaged on September 11, 2003, Denell began calling us Opa and Oma. We might have felt a bit older, suddenly becoming “Grandparents,” but a sweeter child would be hard to find, and we accepted our new titles with great joy!
Engaged and at work at the grill, September 11, 2003.
In the day and age we live in, many couples choose to live together before marriage. Chris and Holly were no exception. I share this with you not to embarrass Chris and Holly but simply to share this love story honestly with you and how God loves us and cares for us through every phase of our life. I saw that with Chris and Holly as I prayed for them during this period. I saw God love them to Him in a miraculous way. As a mother who struggled with their decision to live together, I saw God continue to bless them and work in their lives as they needed it. I knew that God was calling me to love them as He loves us and He would work all things out for good.
May I share a God Story with you about their engagement? Time was passing and there came a point where my prayers for their future together took on a new intensity. I knew that I not only needed to pray for them and their relationship but I needed to do it on my knees. I don’t understand why some prayers require “knee” involvement, but they just do. After only a few days of being on my knees in prayer about this, I was out shopping for a gift for someone else and found myself at the card rack. Looking through the cards, I picked up one and it seemed it was for a friend of mine…I looked at it and put it back. Came back to it and looked at it again…I asked God if I should get it for my friend and then wandered around the store a bit more. Finally I came back to the card and read it again. This is what it said,
“God has heard your prayers, the answer is on the way.”
Then I heard the still small voice of God whisper to my heart,
“This is about Chris and Holly.”
I knew exactly what my prayers had been, and I knew then and there that the answer was truly on the way. The only thing I didn’t know was when…
The very next day while at work, I received a phone call. It was from Holly and she said, “Are you sitting down?” I told her I was, and then she told me that Chris had asked her to marry him!
I cried tears of joy!
I also went back and bought that card for them as an engagement card. It wasn’t meant to be an engagement card, but it was a card of answered prayer!
The wedding plans began and some ten months later, we now have a new daughter-in-law and a new granddaughter!! It is God’s perfect timing in all things. We have our own agendas and God has His. Sometimes it is hard to wait…okay, most times it is hard to wait, but if we will allow God to work, the blessings He showers us with will be too numerous to count.
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| Wedding Vows | Chris with Denell | The new family! |
God’s secret plan has now been revealed to us; it is a plan centered on Christ,
designed long ago according to his good pleasure. And this is his plan: at the
right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—
everything in heaven and on earth. Furthermore, because of Christ, we have
received an inheritance from God, for he chose us from the beginning, and
all things happen just as he decided long ago. (Ephesians 1:9-11 NLT)
As Chris’ Mom, I thought I “knew” best. I “knew” what they should do and not do, I “knew” when they should do it and not do it, I was “The Mom”…but God said, “Love them.” It’s easy to look back and see God’s plan being fulfilled; it’s not so easy to be in the midst of it as we are most days of our lives. But, God is good!!
…we will hold to the truth in love, becoming more and more in
every way like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Under
his direction, the whole body is fitted together perfectly. As each part
does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the
whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.
Ephesians 4:15-16 (NLT)
What God brought together on July 3rd was truly a miracle! Not only Chris and Holly’s marriage, which would have been enough in itself, but a wedding that was all that they had dreamed of because of the gifts of so many people coming together to make it happen. Chris and Holly had only a “shoestring” to work with, and God blessed them with a whole “Shoe store.” Their wedding lacked nothing--especially love! From uncles playing pianos to an aunt not only singing their wedding song but making boutonnieres, hosting the rehearsal dinner and filling in as wedding coordinator to name just a few of her “duties.” From a groomsman who is a chef cooking all the food, to another uncle providing all the catering supplies they would ever want from linens to glasses to chafing dishes. Our up-and-coming future daughter-in-law handled the guest book, and Holly’s friend was their photographer. A friend made the wedding cake and sisters/bridesmaids created bouquets. Friends and family joined together to make this day so very special from cooking the ribs at rehearsal dinner and even loaning us cars when needed. Even my best friend was at my side the entire time, helping me in more ways than I can say. I could go on and on and still miss many of the details that brought this day together. We were awed by God’s blessings and so thankful for all the gifted and talented people that helped Chris and Holly in such a loving way!
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| Rehearsal Dinner | Rehearsal Dinner | Rehearsing the music. |
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| Jim & Holly, Diane & Chris | Reception fun! | Reception fun! |
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| Father-daughter dance! | Cake Cutting! | Denell enjoying the party! |
God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you
can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not
a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can
boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew
in Christ Jesus, so that we can do good things he planned for us long ago.
Ephesians 2:8-10 (NLT)
This wedding was one of God’s “masterpieces.” It truly was! It was amazing to watch Him work through all the details and bring it to pass. Only two weeks before the wedding, the location had to be changed due to the closure of the original location. Ever had to find a place to have a wedding? It can be a challenge. Ever had to move it at the last minute? Almost impossible!! But not with God! Within four hours a new location had been found and it was even more beautiful than the original place! We watched as the Enemy tried to get his hooks in and ruin what God had planned. We watched as God said, “Focus on Me and I will be with you always!”
Was this wedding without the stress and strain that weddings can bring? No, it was not. Life is not without its ups and downs, and weddings aren’t either. Brides get emotional and grooms get nervous. Best-laid plans fall through, and families don’t always get along. To survive life, we need to pray. To survive weddings, we also need to pray. Things can get confusing, especially as the day gets closer.
Be humble and gentle.
Be patient with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults
because of your love. Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit,
and bind yourselves together with peace.
Ephesians 4:2-3 (NLT)
Holly asked me if I would write a wedding song for them. She knows that my brother and I have been writing songs lately, and I felt very touched that she would want me to do this for them. I would like to share the words God gave me for their special day. I wish that you could have all heard the beautiful music my brother put with this as my sister sang it during their ceremony and Jim accompanied them on percussion. It went like this:
This Is Real Love
When we reach out for God’s love we’re drawn to love each other
Holding to this love of God keeps us bound to one another
With God’s hand upon our lives we’re not lost in the confusion
We’ll not turn our eyes away from the promise of this union
God has taught us how to love by sending us His Son
He calls us to love each other ‘til the day is done
He says this is real love and with His sacrifice
Our love will grow in perfection every day of our lives
God’s brought us to this moment, a man, a woman and child
We pledge to love each other and ask His blessings on our life
We know that if we’re faithful and keep our focus on what’s true
Then ours will be a patient love, not jealous, proud or rude
As we go from here today we’ll take the joy that fills our hearts
As a husband and a wife and with our daughter we will start
Living in the love we know because of how God first loved us
His plans for us are waiting, a future filled with hope and trust
God has taught us how to love by sending us His Son
He calls us to love each other ‘til the day is done
He says this is real love and with His sacrifice
Our love will grow in perfection every day of our lives
This love will grow every day of our lives…
As Jim (Dad) sat with Chris at a picnic the day after the wedding, he asked Chris how he liked the song…he then told Chris that these were not just words, but words to live by. I believe they are, for all of us, not just for a young bride and groom. They are words to remember when relationships are strained because of wedding plans, they are words to remember when we’ve been married a few years and we’re frustrated by the one we have pledged to love for the rest of our lives. These are words that God knows we need to be reminded of daily because when we take our focus off what’s true, we will get lost in the confusion of life whether it be in planning a wedding or just the day to day things we are faced with.
I cannot tell you the story of Chris and Holly’s wedding without including the story of what God’s healing power can do in a family. To say my heart was joyful on this day cannot describe all that I felt. I cannot speak for the rest of the family, but if you were there, perhaps you saw it on our faces, in our smiles, perhaps you even felt it yourself. I know there were some tears shed for our loss, for the missing member of our family who was not able to celebrate with us on this day. I know that as a mother I should have been the one shedding tears, but I did not, not for Phil, not for sorrow--only for joy!
Jim, Chris, Diane, Jimm
As I heard the news that the groom had arrived, I had to find my son. I had to see him, and as I rounded the corner and there he stood, all dressed in his grey tux, looking so grown up, the tears could not be contained. My heart was full! I hugged him and our oldest son Jimm who stood beside him, and felt so very blessed. God is good!
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| Dave with Chris | Ring bearers Max and Koby are in place. |
This was Chris’ day, Chris and Holly’s. After all we have been through, it was a day of new beginnings. Phil will never be replaced in our lives. We don’t look for that nor expect it, but we are grateful for Holly and Denell and the love they bring to our family. Throughout the day, there were only a few times when my heart wanted to travel down the road of longing for our son who could not be there, but God in all His goodness and wisdom gently reminded me this was Chris’ day. This was a day to celebrate and be happy. This was not a day about loss, but about gain, about healing and about love. True love, love that gives hope for what will be, never forgetting what has been but growing and learning through it and taking those lessons into the next generation to share with them.
As I went through the afternoon/evening, I felt God’s protection. It felt as if He had placed a bubble around me so that no fiery arrows could pierce my heart. As our oldest son Jimm, as Best Man, gave his toast to the bride and groom, our three sons were remembered--but sorrow was not the focus, joy was! The good times, the crazy times, the family times, and the new family that was starting on this day.
Jimm giving his toast as Best Man
In every battle you will need faith as your shield to
stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan…Pray
at all times and on every occasion in the power of the
Holy Spirit.
Ephesians 6:16&18 (NLT)
Through it all, God has been with us, just as He was on this day and will continue to be in the future. In all the confusion, in all the stress and joy and nervousness and peace, God is there! He only asks us to look to Him, to be obedient to Him, to give Him our whole heart, soul, mind and strength--He will do the rest. Sometimes, we know the battle is raging, we can feel the pressure, we can feel the fiery arrows that come our way, and sometimes God says, “No. You will not touch my child on this day.” As I said, I cannot speak for the rest of my family but I know what I felt, and I felt surrounded by God’s ministering angels as He let me enjoy to the full what He had done! God is good!
I gave my youngest son back to God two and a half years ago. I thank God for the gift that he was and is to me, but I knew I had to let him go and begin live the life God is calling me to now without him.
I gave my middle son, Chris, away on July 3rd in a quite a different way. I danced the mother/son dance with him to the tune of “I Hope You Dance,” it was a song I had chosen. It is a song expressing what I want for my children. I want them to live their lives to the fullest, giving “faith a fighting chance.” When given the choice to sit it out or dance, “I hope they dance.” As the song was finishing, I spotted my new daughter-in-law across the room. I beckoned her over to us and I invited her to dance with Chris for the rest of the song. It seemed to me after all was said and done, and even though they had been man and wife for a couple of hours at that point, it was then that I personally gave my son away to his bride. As I took my seat I saw their daughter join them in the dance…God is good!
Mother and son.
I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light
so that you can understand the wonderful future
he has promised to those he called. I want you to
realize what a rich and glorious inheritance he
has given to his people.
Ephesians 1:18 (NLT)
I know that prayers are answered and miracles happen every day, if we will only look for them!! I know that God brought us to this day as a family who needed His love desperately and found it in so many amazing ways. I know that as we pray for Chris and Holly and their children and also for Jimm and Cami and their upcoming wedding/children, God will be with us always. I know that life can be so very hard, but I know that this too shall pass. What the Enemy means for harm, God means for good if we will only trust Him.
Our family--Jim, Holly, Chris, Denell, Diane, Jimm, Cami
Thank you for letting me share this very special time in our family with all of you!
May God’s grace be upon all who love our
Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.
Ephesians 6:24 (NLT)
Love,
The MOG (Mother of the Groom!)
