A Mother’s Story
10/24/2004
We have once again celebrated a wedding in our family. Our oldest son, James Lambert Shore, II, wed his beautiful bride, Cami Kay Humphrey on October 16, 2004. So many could tell this story from their viewpoint, but I was only privy to one, that of a mother, so that is the story I will share with all of you here.
Having just experienced our middle son Chris’ wedding in July to Holly, we should have been old pros at being the parents of the groom. If it seemed we had all just gathered in sunny California for just such an event it was because we had, but that did not make this gathering any less special. In fact, it was just the opposite. We feel truly blessed with all that God is doing in our family and the wonderful daughters-in-law and grandchildren that He is bringing our way. Sometimes I feel like Job, having lost our youngest son just three years ago, and watching God add to our family now in such a spectacular way. Daughters-in-law or even grandchildren will never replace Phil, but that does not mean we cannot embrace these new additions to our family as the blessings that they are.
Yes, The Lord has done amazing things for us!
What joy!
Restore our fortunes, Lord, as streams renew the desert.
Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.
They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as
they return with the harvest.
Psalm 126:3-6 (NLT)
Jimm and Cami at rehearsal dinner.
To let you know a bit about Jimm and Cami, they actually met on the Internet! Now that’s a scary thought, isn’t it? But it has worked out for them, and I guess I’ll have to look at the Internet in a new way from now on. They started talking on-line and after about six months of chatting, Cami flew to California for their first meeting in October of 2002. Their first face-to-face meeting went so well that Jimm eventually decided to move from California to Oregon so they could get to know each other even better, and here we are two years later, now calling them the newest Mr. and Mrs. Shore! When Chris gave his toast as Best Man, he put it very honestly--he said that if his brother was willing to give up his seat at the Raiders Play-off games to move to Oregon and be with Cami, this MUST be the real thing! It was!
Chelsea, Cami, Jimm & Chris during toast.
Before making our way up the Oregon Coast to the wedding, Jim I spent the summer months parked in our RV in Fallon, Nevada. We turned this two-day journey into a six-day vacation, and loved every minute of it! The weather was beautiful and as we would park our home along the coast for the night, it would sometimes take a crowbar for Jim to pry me away from the roar of the ocean waves and the rocky-cliffs that line the Oregon coast to move on up the road! He kept reminding me we had a wedding to get to; otherwise we might have never made it there in time! Between the Redwoods and the ocean, there were so many spectacular sights to see!
We did make it to Albany, Oregon in time though, and enjoyed a week there with the kids, helping out with some of the final details of wedding planning. Being the groom’s parents does have its advantages. The bride’s parents had been working for months ironing out all the details for this event and we so appreciate all that they did!
As the kid’s wedding day drew near, I thought of the last few years and how Fall has been a very difficult time for me personally. With losing Phil in the Fall, his birthday being in the Fall, then Thanksgiving - Phil’s favorite holiday, it is not easy to see the trees change colors and the pumpkins growing alongside the roads and arriving in the stores. I start to miss Phil even more and for the most part I just want to move through this season as quickly as possible. But God, in His great wisdom, planned a wedding for this Fall--on Phil’s birthday. Some may ask, is that a good day for a wedding? Is that even wise? And I always think back to what Pastor Dave had to say when we told him about Jimm and Cami’s plans of being wed on Phil’s birthday…he said, “It’s poetic.” I believe it is. On the day Phil would have turned nineteen, we celebrated together as a family!
As the wedding drew nearer, my thoughts were not on loss, but on gain. They were not on sadness but on joy. I looked forward to a celebration instead of a day filled with mourning, and that is exactly what we enjoyed! I knew it was God’s perfect timing…after the three years had passed. Three years to heal and to gain new insight on all that has happened in our lives. Three years to watch these beautiful new young women be added to our family, a new granddaughter in Holly’s daughter and also a new grandchild expected in May with Chris and Holly. So much to be grateful for after so much sadness. How could we not celebrate?!
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| Cami and Holly at rehearsal dinner. |
Pastor with Jimm and Denell during rehearsal. |
This is not to say there were not difficult moments. As we watched the wedding video being played on Friday night during the rehearsal of Jimm and Cami’s “growing up years” with their siblings, I saw Phil’s smiling face, and I missed him with all my heart. It hurt, but the hurt did not last, and on their wedding day there was a comfort that comes only from the peace of God.
In having my quiet time on the morning of the wedding, God took me to Isaiah 61:3 where it says, “To all who mourn in Israel, he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. (NLT) I have seen this come about in the last three years. I have seen the beauty that can come out of the ashes of loss, the joy that replaces the mourning, and the praise that fills a heart that once was only filled with despair. As I read on in that passage, it was as if God was saying, this is what I am calling you to today, “For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory.” It seemed God was saying, “Go to Jimm and Cami’s wedding today like a strong and graceful oak and bring glory to My Name.” I felt His strength fill me to do just that.
The emotions were there, never to be denied, but to be understood and be soothed with the comfort that only God can give. His peace will reign on the hardest days. This was the third birthday that Phil celebrated in heaven, his last birthday on earth being his 16th. On that day we gave him a pocket watch that he enjoyed for one month, and then it was left behind with us as he entered the gates of heaven. When Chris married in July, he carried this watch in his pocket, and as Jimm wed exactly three years from the day that Phil received this watch as a birthday gift, Jimm also carried it in his pocket, in remembrance of his brother. It was not noted by many, but we as a family knew, and that was a piece of Phil we shared between us. The rest of the day belonged to Jimm and Cami and the joy of starting their lives together!
Since my brother and I have been writing many songs together, it seems now that it is becoming a family tradition to write a wedding song for each new bride and groom. My brother’s daughter, who is many years from being old enough to marry, has already asked her dad if she will have her very own song also. God willing, we will write one for her too when that day arrives. I’d like to share the one we wrote for Jimm and Cami, and I only wish you could have heard my sister and brother sing this together. They did an awesome job!
Rick and Karen rehearsing wedding song.
Forever We’ll Be True
Our hearts are formed and fashioned by the One who knows us best
Before we were born He knew who would bring us happiness
In all that He is doing and all that He has done
He brings us to this moment that joins us into one
God knows our hearts like no one else, they’re molded in His hands
We know that if we listen close and follow His commands
Then love will be our goal in life, forever we’ll be true
True to one another and the life He’s called us to
I give my heart to you today, I give you all I am
Long ago I dreamed of now, the day when I would stand
And face the one I’d love for life and promise to be true
I’d always hoped it would be with one as wonderful as you
No longer will I walk alone but always by your side
Under God’s umbrella of protection on our lives
He’ll shower us with blessings as we look to Him each day
On our knees before Him, He will guide us as we pray
The plans He has won’t harm us, they’ll only make us strong
Being joined together with Him, is right where we belong
With love as our goal in life, forever we’ll be true
Take my hand my love, my life…it’s so good to be with you
This was sung during their ceremonial candle lighting, joining their lives together. What a joy it is to see young people taking a step of faith into marriage in today’s world when so many don’t see it as being necessary. Life can be so very tough, and it is good to know that they have God’s blessing on their lives together. With love as their goal in life, a love for God, for each other, and for their “neighbor,” they can now move into the rest of their lives starting out in the right direction.
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| Wedding Vows | Denell & Holly cheering on the newlyweds as they leave the church. |
Mayor & his wife with car to take them to reception. |
Jimm and Cami left their wedding ceremony in a big white Cadillac driven by the Mayor of Lebanon and his wife. He is currently up for re-election, and if we lived there, he’d probably have our vote! The smiles on Jimm and Cami’s faces said it all!
Upon arriving at their reception Jimm donned his Raider Cap
that matched his Silver and Black tux, and entered the room with his bride to
the tune of the Raider Anthem. Not many in the crowd would have recognized the
song except for the Raider faithful in our family who were there. Some ask why
we are not 49er fans, coming from the Bay Area. That’s very easy for me to
answer…I was born in Oakland! It’s in the blood! (Let’s not talk about the game
on Sunday after the wedding against the Broncos!!!!!!!)
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| Dodging With Cake | Messy-Messy |
Jimm and Cami danced their first dance, toasted their first toast, cut the cake, dodging each other vying for just the right place to “feed” each other that first bite. I don’t know if they even hit the mouth area! The garter and bouquet were thrown and then came the part that I, as a mother, love!! I was able to dance with my married son! Jimm picked out a song by Elton John called “Blessed,” for us to dance to. It was perfect! As we approached the dance floor, I had him once again put on his Raider cap because as a mother and son, we share the love of the game! I guess that is why God gave me boys!
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| Mother/Son Dance | Father/Daughter Dance |
We enjoyed our dance together and as it was ending, I once again called my new daughter-in-law to join us as I had done with Holly at their wedding. It seems that this is the moment that my heart chooses to give my son away “officially.” Cami joined us in the dance, and then I left the two of them with the parting words from the chorus of the song, “You’ll be blessed,” and they danced together for the rest of the song. I pray that they will see many blessings in their life together, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health. I pray they will see God’s hand upon their lives through it all, and know that the plans He has won’t harm them, they will only make them strong. (Jer. 29:11)
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| Reception Fun! | Marlene (Cami’s Mom) with Cami and Jimm |
Cami with her new Father-in-law, Jim |
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| Jimm & Cami showered with bubbles |
Leaving in the Limo |
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When our family gathers for a wedding, we come to celebrate! And being that so many in the family did make the long trip up from California we had a good time dancing to all the favorites!! We always seem to be the last to leave a good time, and Jimm and Cami’s wedding was no exception! We stayed until the bride and groom climbed into a beautiful limo provided by the Chris and cousin Russ, and waved to them as they departed for some well needed time to themselves, although short-lived since so many in the family were staying at the same hotel they were! Albany is not a very large town!! For the record, we did not disturb them! They knew we had all gathered in the dining room of the hotel to continue visiting, and they joined us there! Family time together is most precious when everyone lives so far away, and they wanted to soak up as much as possible. As I write this, they are on their official honeymoon, no family invited!
The whole weekend from rehearsal dinner to the wedding and then gathering at Cami’s parent’s house on Sunday to watch the kids open their wedding gifts was wonderful. No wedding ever takes place without the stress that comes from so much preparation for such a special day, but in the end it always seems that everything comes together in a most amazing way. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief and exhaustion when all is done, and what remains as years pass are the memories that were made as two were joined into one.
We have no more children left on this earth to marry. Number two son was married in July, number one son just last week, and the way I look at it, Phil married Jesus, so we’re finished!! We think that is awesome!!
These boys are hitched!
It’s been an exciting time watching this all take place and watch God’s provisions as He kept us close to California and Oregon in our RV so we could drive our home to these celebrations. We have seen God’s hand in so many ways through it all, and we come away with hearts filled with gratitude.
I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God!
For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation
and draped me in a robe of righteousness. I am like
a bridegroom in his wedding suit or a bride with her jewels.
The Sovereign Lord will show his justice to the nations
of the world. Everyone will praise him! His righteousness
will be like a garden in the early spring, filled with young
plants springing up everywhere.
Isaiah 61:10-11 (NLT)
We have certainly seen that in our family, new life
springing up everywhere. I think about the pocket watch we presented to Phil
just three short years ago. It was given to him knowing that a lasting gift is
appropriate for a 16th birthday but also knowing that if the disease
that ravaged his body was not healed by our Mighty God soon, his life on this
earth would not last much longer.
Was it a difficult time?
The most difficult!
But to now see all that God has done in the past three years in our family, and
how He has healed our hearts and brought us through a hurt and pain that words
could never fully explain to this, to this joy, is miraculous! God’s goodness is
beyond words!
Jimm, Diane,
Chris, Jim
There are many roads our boys could have chosen with the hurt and loss they have also had to endure, but they have chosen to love God and move forward in their faith. They are young and their lives are only just beginning, and there is so much yet they will have to experience with their own families, with their own children, but our job now as parents is to continue to pray for them and their wives and children and to the best of our God-given ability, be that “strong and graceful oak” that will bring glory to our Heavenly Father. We cannot spare them the trials that they may have to face in the coming years, but we can lead the way by living out our own faith as God calls us to. I pray we will be able to do that for them.
And now, as we are parked in Montana looking out our window at snow-capped peaks as the Fall colors fall from the trees, we will move on and see what God has down the road for us as a couple who feel so very blessed with all that God has done in our lives.
When Phil was first gone from us, I remember listening to a song about how God and time can heal a broken heart. It is not one without the other, but both God and time together, that change the ashes to beauty and the sorrow to joy. It is the willingness to open up a heart that has been severely wounded to the Great Physician, and then wait… and over time, God’s promises start to reveal themselves in so many ways--and even though what has been lost will never be returned on this earth most times, somehow God provides what we are needing to still live a joyful and blessed life above the circumstances. It is a miracle to behold and one that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is God and He can be fully trusted with our whole hearts. We will never be disappointed in Him, here on earth or in heaven to come.
As the Scriptures express it,
”I am placing a stone in Jerusalem,
a chosen cornerstone,
and anyone who believes in him
will never be disappointed.”
Yes, he is very precious to you who believe.
1 Peter 2:6-7
One last little story I’d like to share with you about our new granddaughter, Denell, who came to dance with me during the wedding reception. As she approached me, she smiled and said, “Today is Phil’s birthday!” I said, “Yes, it is. He’s having his birthday in heaven.” She then looked up to heaven, put out her arms and said, “Happy Birthday Phil!”
It’s gifts like that that help me know how much God loves us and knows our hearts. I believe God sent her over to me, to dance with me, and to share that moment with me so we could wish Phil a Happy Birthday together! Leave it to a child, because that is who God can use—those with a childlike heart to express His love in such a wonderful way!
Once again, thank you for letting me share Jimm and Cami’s day with you and all that God is doing in our lives. What a year it has been and continues to be! What next year will hold, only God knows, but we know that we can always and forever trust the plans God has for us!!
Praising Him!
The MOG (Mother of the Groom)
