Where Do You Belong

When heaven becomes so very real...

It had only been three weeks since their child had left for heaven. Three weeks to absorb what they thought only happened to others. Three weeks to cry and to mourn over an event that will forever shape their lives, and we had the privilege of sitting with them for a couple of hours one evening in our travels.

I say privilege, because to us it is. It is a privilege to share with other parents in a hurt that is beyond belief because there is a bond that develops almost instantaneously. The bond is there because so few have been down this very same road. We will meet those who have lost their parents, their spouse, their aunts and their uncles, and maybe even a cousin, but rarely those who have lost a child.

It used to be commonplace. I hadn't really thought about that but as we toured the Nixon Library down in the Los Angeles area, we found out that President Nixon came from a family of five boys. The home he was born in still stands on the property in the exact place where it stood when he was born in it in 1912. His father built the house out of a kit, and there is a picture on the wall of the five boys, each around the age of four--cleverly put together, seemingly as one photo.

As the guide showed us through the small home, he explained that two of Nixon's brothers had died of tuberculosis. One at the age of seven, and one at the age of 22. He said that most families years ago were quite large because they knew that not all of their children would live to adulthood.

How different it is today. We are under the assumption that our children will more than likely outlive us. That they will bury us, not the other way around.

Back then, they were under the assumption that they would bury at least one, if not more than one of their children. Most times they were right. Did that cause them any less heartache? I would doubt that it did, but one thing was probably certain--they were not alone in their pain. Most of their neighbors, friends, and relatives had probably walked that road before or at the same time and if they needed a grief-share group, it wouldn't be hard to find. Just go and have coffee with your neighbor.

But not today. Today we are shocked when someone loses a child. We cannot imagine what that would do to us, if such a thing were to happen, and we hope and pray that it never will...but sometimes it does.
And then where do we go?
What do we do?
Who will really understand our pain?

We don't really want to talk about it, do we? We don't want to face the possibility that it could happen to us, and if we get too close, maybe it will. But when it has, and we have lived through it, and when our joy is returning, there is nothing we want more--at least for Jim and me--than to tell others that it will get better. That God really can heal a completely broken heart, and we want to talk about it if need be.

Not that it is easy, we don't want to say the wrong things either. We don't know what you believe, what you cling to in your darkest moments, or if you are interested in what we cling to, in what we believe. We don't know if you will think we are crazy, or if you will be happy to hear about how God can help you if you will only let Him. We don't have the answers to many things, we are not experts, but we are willing to listen.

Pastor Dave talked about our Wonderful Counselor tonight, Jesus. He said that just showing up to listen is 80 percent of being a good counselor. We can all do that if we are willing. He said that Jesus asks penetrating questions like--what are we hanging onto that we are not willing to give up? That Jesus allows for grace and that He restores hope. With some practice and the help of the Holy Spirit, we can learn to do those things too.

I'd like to practice that. I'd like to help others especially find hope when heaven has become real to them because they must think about it now. When they really have no choice because if their loved-one is there, it becomes more real, and they may wonder how they can get their also.

Eric Clapton sings a song about heaven, having lost his young son in a fall some years ago. When I used to watch the video we have of him singing that song, I wondered how he could ever make it through it. We listen to that song now on CD, as we did just we traveling along, and there are some interesting thoughts in this song. He sings:

Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same, if I saw you in heaven?
Will you hold my hand, when I see you in heaven?
I must be strong, and carry on
Cuz I know, I don't belong...
here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand, if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand, if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cuz I know, I just can't stay, here in heaven.

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart, have you beggin' please, beggin' please...

Beyond the door, there's peace I'm sure
And I know they'll be no more, tears in heaven.

Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same, if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong, and carry on
Cuz I know I don't belong...
here in heaven.

Cuz I know I don't belong...
here in heaven.
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What is he saying here? Is he saying he knows that his child is in heaven, but he doesn't belong there with him? I hope not. I hope he is simply saying that it is not his time to be there in heaven with his son, because could there be any worse feeling--not being able to get to where your child is because you think you're not good enough? Is that why people reject the idea of God, because if they accept who God really is, and that there is a heaven, then they have to accept that there really is a hell and they might end up there because they're not "good enough?"

If someone were asked "would you like to live in heaven," would anyone really say "no"? We are all looking for heaven, aren't we? Some look for heaven on earth or what feels like heaven on earth. We all talk about it. To me, Cancun was heaven on earth. I love those beaches and that water and if I could design heaven, it would look like that!

What is your heaven on earth? Are you still looking for it? Have you found a spot that comes close to what you would want heaven to be?

What if you knew it was there but you were not "good enough" to go there? What if you got there and they said, "We're sorry, but you just don't belong here," as Eric Clapton sang about. What if your child was just inside that gate, and you were left outside in the dark? Sort of like standing in a line at a nightclub, and only the good-looking or rich are allowed to enter. The doorman doesn't have your name on the list--so sorry, you're out. But what if some really nice forgiving guy who just happens to have the name of Jesus comes along and says, "He's with me," and there are no questions asked. The door is swung wide open and you are allowed to enter in, and there stands your child, knowing your name and wanting to hold your hand! That would be heaven to any parent who has lost a child!

Do you want to go to heaven?
Wouldn't we all answer yes?
We wouldn't refuse something so good, so wonderful--a place where no tears will be cried, no one will grow old, no one will go hungry, no one will be missed, no good-byes will ever be said, and we will constantly be surrounded by such a great love we cannot even imagine it fully now.

Then why don't we believe in God?
Is it because we might not be good enough for heaven and then hell would become a possibility and that scares us? We'd rather not believe at all because then we don't have to think about it?

Eric Clapton had to think about it, this couple we met with had to think about it, we have had to think about it. This world has caused us to think about it because someone we love no longer lives on planet earth. They have left us behind to think about it...

When Phil was getting very close to heaven's door, he had to think about it, and he told me that he was concerned that when he got to heaven, that God might not let him in because of something he had done. What he was saying was that he might not "belong there." The same thing Eric Clapton was singing, the same fear that most of us have. If we know God instinctively as I recently wrote about, then we also know instinctively that we are sinners. That we make mistakes, that we do things wrong, and that we fall short of how God wants us to behave. It makes us feel like we don't belong.

But as I told Phil, and as God has told us, that is why He sent his only Son to this earth to die for us. Because Jesus paid the price for all of us who will believe in Him. He paid the "cover charge." I assured Phil with the story of the thief on the cross who simply turned to Jesus and asked to be remembered when Jesus came into His kingdom. Jesus told the thief that he would be with Him in paradise today. In other words, you're with me, they won't stop you at the door! I know Phil was with Jesus...he was in!! I want in too!

So if Jesus provides the way, no matter what you've done, why not believe in Jesus?

That would take a step of faith many aren't willing to take because it's again admitting God is real, Jesus is His Son, and bottom line, there is a hell and I don't want to chance going there.

But Jesus says He is the only way, and those who believe in Him are in! No questions asked! Does it become a pride issue? To believe in Jesus we'd have to admit that something or someone else is greater than us? We hate to do that, don't we? We are competitive, we are stubborn, we are independent. I can do it my "own self," thank you very much!!

I don't know, but giving up self-importance on earth for a perfect eternity with those I love in heaven seems like a great trade-off to me!
Where do I sign up for that deal?
We sign up with our heart, then we "belong."

For none of us lives to himself alone
and none of us dies to himself alone.
If we live, we live to the Lord;
and if we die, we die to the Lord.
So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.
Romans 14:7-8
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But our fears hinder us too. We all want to belong, we all want to be good enough for heaven and even good enough here on earth. All the kids who recently started school want to belong, they want to feel accepted, they don't want to be cast-out by the other kids because they don't measure up. Do we ever really outgrow those feelings? This lie is one of the Enemy's great weapons to keep us from taking that step of faith now. The lie that we don't measure up, and we don't want to be embarrassed when we get to the gates of heaven and be told we don't belong--so we try to depend on ourselves to get us through this life and we'd rather not admit that we need Jesus to help us along. We think when we face God on our dying day, that will be soon enough to admit He is real. If He is a loving God, he'll surely let us in then.

Afraid not. He gives us plenty of warning that He has made the ultimate sacrifice for us already by sending his Son to this earth to get our name on the list at the door. There will be no excuses once we show up there. Jesus has made us "good enough" already, but if we refuse what He has offered, we too will be refused.

Are we good enough for heaven?
Absolutely not, no one is!
Do we belong there?
Absolutely yes!
That's why Jesus came!

Now is the time to take that step of faith. We have nothing to lose except an eternity in hell.
If we are wrong and there is no heaven, then there is no hell. When we die, it is finished.
No problem.

If we are right in taking that step of faith and believing in Jesus as our Savior, then we have everything to gain.
When we get there, we will "belong in heaven" and spend eternity in the best place imaginable.
No problem.

To know instinctively what we should do and not do it is the biggest mistake we will ever make.
Big problem!

You may never be faced with what we have been faced with, or what this couple who lost their child is faced with. You may never write a song like Eric Clapton wrote and have to think the thoughts that ran through his head to write these words, because we don't live in a day and age when most parents say good-bye to their children. You won't sit with neighbors and friends, having gone to the funerals of their children who are now buried in their family's plots on their back 40 because modern medicine and technology has made this way of living a thing of the past. It seems now only a freak accident or a serious illness can claim a life these days. Most other things, doctors can fix up as good as new, and we can carry on with our lives for many years to come.

But some of us think about heaven, very seriously. And those of us who do, want to "belong there." We want to enter in, and we don't want there to be a question about it when our time comes. We want there to be "no problem" when we get to the door. It means far too much to us to ever leave the question of eternity hanging out there until some later time. The time is now, and the decision needs to be made.

Don't wait until it is too late. Don't leave your loved ones wondering if you will be waiting in heaven for them when they are brought to that decision-making time in their lives. Lead the way to heaven, and let those that come behind look forward to that reunion with you! There is nothing more heart-breaking than to have someone already gone from this earth, not knowing what was in their heart about God when they left. Some will then not choose God because they are not sure you are there, and yet if they don't choose God, and you are there, they will have missed out on an eternity with you. It can get very confusing when we play the waiting game!

It's not a game, it is real life. It is to be taken seriously, and once done, there is joy and there is peace, and you can rest in all that life holds.

Jim and I were talking today about our future travel plans. We have just returned from a great trip to the L.A. area, the desert and the ocean. We saw and did so many wonderful things, and if it is only a sample of what God has for us when we hit the road full-time, we will experience many great blessings. In talking this over, we understand that the future is unknown. We know that everything could fall apart and it might hurt us. Jim had a great answer for that today. He said, "I've been hurt, and it didn't kill me. What is there to fear?" It struck me as so true. We have felt the pain of great hurt in learning to live our lives without Phil here with us. We are now experiencing a new joy in living life to the fullest because we have faced the serious issues, we have made our decision to accept the gift of eternal life, and the rest is in God's hands. We know this earth is not our home, we don't belong here, but we know where we do belong, and knowing that, there is no problem. No hurt will "kill us" and no "failure" will keep us from what is most important to us, an eternity with our Savior in heaven and with our loved ones who also believe.

As it is, you do not belong to the world,
but I have chosen you out of the world.
John 15:19b
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Let Jesus pick you out of the line and say, "He/she is with Me!" Enjoy your life to the fullest by making your final "reservations" today! Once done, you can rest in the fact that Jesus will take care of all the arrangements!

Living in His peace and joy,
Diane