Take your pick!

Thurday, 27 Feb 2003

The Cross or the Loss...

"Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings
and curses. I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make.
Oh, that you would choose life, that you and your descendants might live!
Choose to love the Lord your God and to obey him and commit yourself to him,
for he is your life."
Deuteronomy 30:19-20
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"for he is your life"...if God is not your life, what is?
What do you worship?
What do you count on?
What gets you through the day?

I know that I started my day this morning talking with God, and I found myself looking back and forth between the Cross that hangs on our bedroom wall and the picture of Phil that hangs on our bedroom wall. As I glanced back and forth, it came to me that I could look at the Cross or the Loss. I could hope in the Cross, or be devastated by the Loss. I could rise up and live my life for Jesus, or I could stay in bed, pull the covers over my head and be buried in the Loss of my son.
Which would I choose?
One tempted me more...the Loss.
One brought me greater joy...the Cross.

I choose the Cross!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Would I rather let the devil curse me, or let the Lord bless me?
It is a choice!
If I choose God and to obey him and to commit myself to Him, He becomes my life.
He becomes my reason for being.
If I choose the devil and let him curse the rest of my life, my life is destroyed, it is a disaster, and completely in ruins.
Why does ruin tempt us? Because we think we deserve it? Because that's how we think we're supposed to feel? Because if we choose life and life abundantly, we are disrespectful to the Loss?
Hogwash!!
Where did that word come from? I don't use that word! I guess it means I'm emphatic here!!
Make no mistake about it!
I choose life, not death. I will not let death destroy the life I have been given. I will not let the devil devour me, because God has a better plan, a greater plan for my life, and that's the one I want!

Be careful!
Watch out for attacks from the Devil, your great enemy.
He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour.
Take a firm stand against him, and be strong in your faith.
Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world
are going through the same kind of suffering you are.
1 Peter 5:8-9
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Not only my Christian brothers and sisters, but also those who don't believe. They are getting attacked also. The enemy doesn't even know who his enemy is! He's devouring his own troops. Turning on his own people! Why would he want to destroy them when they are already in his camp? That I don't understand. I can see that he is mad at those who have accepted the Salvation of Christ, and he would want to destroy their lives, but why the lives of those who don't believe? They aren't even a threat to him, and yet the devil still chooses to make their lives as miserable as possible. He still brings them poverty and death and destruction.

What breaks my heart most is that they have nowhere to turn for help. They do not cry out to the Lord for Him to rescue them. They don't crawl under the shadow of His wings and find comfort there. They cannot take their every need to the foot of His throne and leave it with Him. Well, actually we all can, but we don't. Many don't want to. Some choose not to, and that leaves them so susceptible to further attacks by the enemy. And he will attack!!

My heart bleeds for those whose hearts are bleeding and they have nowhere to turn for help.
My heart bleeds for those that may never recover from what the enemy has done.
My heart bleeds when this world is all they have and they can't even enjoy this time on earth fully because life is still so hard for them.

What believers have is a hope for a better day when this "day" is a disaster.
What unbelievers have is this day.

I don't write what I write to shove Biblical doctrine down people's throats because I want everyone to believe what I believe. I write what I write because I have felt days without hope. I have felt days of great anguish. I know what it's like to hurt beyond what human words could ever explain, and I want to let EVERYONE know that there is an answer out there for what hurts most. For what destroys. For what seeks to steal the hope and joy right out of our lives.

That is why I write!
To help, not to hurt!
To encourage, not to berate!
To share the good news when there is nothing but bad news to fill some days!
If it is not what you want to hear, believe me, I understand. I've been there! I know! But now I am on the other side of that, and I know the Truth, and the Truth has set me free! I just want you to know there is a way out of whatever situation you are in! That's all!! I could not enter into heaven when my day comes if I don't stand up boldly and let you in on the Good News of Christ! I could not enter into the gates of heaven, glancing back over my shoulder and see you standing on the outside without hope if I have not shared this hope with you. After reading my story, my journey and what God has done in my heart this past year, if you still choose not to believe, that is your right. God gives you that right! He has given you the choice of "life or death."  My only desire is to make sure you know you have a choice.

But how can they call on him to save them unless
they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they
have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him
unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell
them without being sent? That is what the Scriptures mean
when they say, "How beautiful are the feet of those who
bring good news!"
But not everyone welcomes the Good News...
Romans 10:14-16a
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God knew that not everyone would welcome this news! He's not stupid! I'm not stupid! There have been some who have written to me and asked to be removed from my mailing list. I understand that! It gets uncomfortable. I'm sharing things from my heart, and I am passionate about it. I was born with a passion for many things, and I think God chose me for this "assignment" because He put that passion in my heart to use it right now in my life for His purpose. It consumes me, and it drives me, and I love it!! You may not! I understand that! You may think I have gone way over the edge. That is okay! I know I'm over the edge! It's not a surprise to me! But time is short, the days are short. The world has numerous "problems", and some days the news we get is more heartbreaking than we can stand.

Today alone I heard about two deaths, and one person needing hospice care. I heard about one person going to the ER, another baby undergoing special tests, and I talked to a woman who has recovered from cancer. What does a person do with a day like that? I'll tell you what I did! I prayed a lot and I went off to our church service tonight when it was the last thing I felt like doing. The enemy wanted me to stay home and wallow in the bad news of the day. I made the choice for "life" and I went to hear the Good News, and I came home and here I am! Filled with all the good things that God has for us and wanting to share it with all of you.
Was it the right choice?
I know I'm feeling a whole lot better right now!

"Lord, who has believed our message?"
Yet faith comes from listening to this message of good news -
the Good News about Christ.
Romans 10:16
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I have faith! Where does it come from? It comes as a gift from God. He gives it to me! Just like He sent the manna from heaven to feed the Israelites during their 40 years of wandering in the wilderness. But guess what? The manna fell from heaven, but they had to go out and collect it each morning. They had to gather it up and bring it home and feed their families with it.

Paster Dave preached a great message tonight! He was going to teach whether I went or not. The "manna" was falling, but if I didn't go over there and get some, I would be "hungry" tonight. STARVING!! After the news I heard today, my spirit was low on fuel. It needed a big dose of what was being offered, but I had to make the choice. Would I go, or would I stay home? Would I choose the Cross or the Loss? Thank you God, I chose the Cross, and I am FULL of You now!!

The Cross offers the hope that I am needing. That is why I share! I think you need hope too! We all need hope! We all hurt in our own way. We all need "manna", but we don't all know where it can be found. That is why God gives some people a passion that may drive other people nuts sometimes! That is why He lets my fingers fly across this keyboard and share the things I do with you, because He wants you to know the Good News of the Cross. He wants you to know that He came to bind up the brokenhearted, to set the captives free from whatever has them tied into knots, and for some strange reason God chooses people to do that. To spread His message. As I heard recently, why doesn't He just write it across the sky?
I don't know!
It seems like it would be so much easier doesn't it? But that's not His way, this is one way. Pastor Dave teaching us all tonight is one way, and who are we to argue with that? I say, let's go with it and work with Him on this one! I know it gives me great joy to share with you what God has done in my life. The thing that frustrates me the most is that some choose the Loss. They lose their joy, their hope and their reason for living when they don't have to. That is why I am passionate, for your sake, not mine. I know where I'm going when my time is through and I know what gets me through each day in the best way possible. I want everyone to have hope, because I know life is hard. I have tasted it, and sometimes it is so very bitter. Sometimes I just want to spit it out and be done with it!! Take me Home God, I'm ready!

But God says no, you must stay. I need you here because I am not going to write anything more across the sky than a beautiful sunset, a colorful rainbow, puffy white clouds, or a star-filled night. That is my handiwork, that is my signature on this world, and I'm leaving the rest up to my people to share with others. I'm counting on them to love Me enough to not keep silent. To share the Good News about what my Son did in this world for them! Will you do that for Me? (Okay, this is my idea of God talking, but take it for what it's worth!)

What will my answer be to that? Well, here I am! Laying my heart out on the table, letting you take a look at it, examine it, decide if I am a lunatic, or if I am sincere. Decide if you will hit delete or read what I write.

This is the only answer I have. I can answer no other way. After what I have experienced, after what God has done and is doing in my life, I have to plead His case. I have to be bold! My heart cries out to the hurting and says there is help!! Let me tell you about HIM!!

I will tell of the Lord's unfailing love. I will praise the Lord
for all he has done. I will rejoice in his great goodness to Israel
which he has granted according to his mercy and love.
He said, "They are my very own people. Surely they will not
be false again." And he became their Savior.
In all their suffering he also suffered, and he
personally rescued them. In his love and mercy he
redeemed them. He lifted them up and carried them through all the years.
Isaiah 63:7-9
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What more can I say? He personally rescued me from the greatest "disaster" of my life! If you think that I don't miss my son as much as any mother ever has, you would be wrong. My love for my son is as great as any mother's. I miss Phil every single day! As we go through each room in our house getting ready to move into our RV, we are faced with article after article that reminds us of our loss. We are cleaning out and getting rid of not only many years of accumulation just because we've been married almost 27 years, but also a roomful of things that belonged to Phil. You would be surprised if you were to pack up your child's room just how much stuff there is in there. Okay, maybe not, because most of it is on the floor! I know, I've been there too! :) But not only is his room full of everything he cherished, but drawers everywhere in the house hold pictures of him, cupboards hold cups with his name on them, closets hold his coats, hobby tables hold his models...you get the picture.
Do we look to the Cross or the Loss? We look to the Cross. It's where our tears are dried, where our hope is found and where we find our path into the future that can be bright! If we look to the loss, we stay right here, miserable and broken. Destroyed and unwilling to move into the future without our son. We would remain in the chains designed by the enemy.
The Cross offers us the promise that we will see Phil again. It offers us the hope that he has not died, only his body has, and his spirit lives in heaven completely healthy and happy. The Cross offers us a life that is not perfect, but a life that is forgiven because Jesus died upon that Cross to give us that gift. That gift was not given lightly.
He told of the Good News also. He didn't get deleted, He got crucified!
If I think I feel rejected when someone asks to be removed from my mailing list, all I have to do is think about Jesus and the rejection He felt as they nailed His hands and feet to the Cross like a common criminal. What had He done? He had spread the Good News and healed and encouraged and accepted everyone and anyone who came across His path. He only came to do good. Even that was not accepted, but rejected.
He came to offer life, He was sentenced to death. That was His gift to us! He went willingly to the Cross because that is what He came to earth to do. He chose the Cross for our sake, so we could handle the Loss with Hope.

I don't know what I came to earth to do, but if this is it, then I'm doing it! Full of passion and on fire for my Savior! He alone has saved me! Even if I end up all alone, I will spread that Good News! He wants that none should be lost! I want that too, but I also want that none should hurt without hope! Hurt will come, that is a sure deal. Hope is not always such a sure deal. Sometimes it takes the help of others to point us in the right direction when the way has become too dark to know which way to turn!
There is a story in the Bible about two men who have died. One is in the place of torment, the other went to where Abraham was. There was a great chasm between them. It says:

"Anyone who wanted to cross over to you from here is stopped at its edge, and no one there can cross over to us."
"Then the rich man said, 'Please, Father Abraham, send him to my father's home. For I have five brothers, and I want him to warn them about this place of torment so they won't have to come here when they die.'
"But Abraham said, 'Moses and the prophets have warned them. Your brothers can read their writings anytime they want to.'
"The rich man replied, 'No, Father Abraham! But if someone is sent to them from the dead, then they will turn from their sins.'
"But Abraham said, 'If they won't listen to Moses and the prophets, they won't listen even if someone rises from the dead.'"
Luke 16:26-31
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Jesus rose from the dead. Some still do not believe. That is the greatest Loss, and every loss after that hurts that much more because it is without hope.

The Cross is not a figment of our imaginations. It is the Truth, and it is the Hope we all search for. The choice is really yours to make, but please don't say that Diane didn't tell you about it!  When I enter through the gates of heaven I want to hear the same words that Phil heard when he arrived:

"Well done, my good and faithful servant.
You have been faithful in handling this small amount,
so now I will give you many more responsibilities.
Let's celebrate together!"
Matthew 25:21
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Let the celebration begin here on earth!
It's just the warm-up for what's to come!!

Living in His peace,
Diane