Questions Without Answers

Saturday, 11 Jan 2003

Are you happy?
Are you really happy?
Should you be?
Are we expected to be?

We think we are. We search for happiness, but for many of us, it eludes us our entire lives. Have we failed? Have we missed the boat? Will our life be a waste?

Max Lucado writes in "When God Whispers Your Name:"

"Unhappiness on earth cultivates a hunger for heaven....We are not happy here because we are not supposed to be happy here...And you will never be completely happy on earth simply because you were not made for earth...Oh, you will have your moments of joy...but they simply do not compare with the happiness that lies ahead."

Seems strange doesn't it? Why would God put us here, and then not expect us to be happy? I'm thinking about this one...God created this world, He created us, and yet we do not belong to this world, so we are not supposed to be really happy here...

My kingdom does not belong to this world.
John 18:36
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And yet I feel such happiness lately. I feel excited about what lies ahead, about what God has planned, about what our future holds. What kind of happiness is this?

Then at the same time, I don't even understand it. I don't understand how I can even feel this way. I don't understand how I can live without my son and so much of the time I feel no pain.

I just really don't get it, or do I?

Have I gotten it?
By some, I have been told that I have. That I have "gotten it."
But what have I gotten?
The Truth?
The true meaning of life?
The reason we are here?
Do I understand that now?
Maybe so...maybe so.

And if that is true, that I have gotten it, what have I learned?

I've learned that all this means nothing, and yet it is everything that God has called me to.
I've learned that I can do nothing alone that means anything, but also that I can do all things through God who gives me strength.
I've learned that there are no guarantees in life, and yet all of life is guaranteed by Jesus Christ and the eternal life He has promised us.
I've learned that the harder I work on my own, the less I accomplish, but the more I rest in God, the more I am able to do through Him.
I've learned there is no safe place on earth, and yet all of earth is a safe place when God is our refuge.
I've learned that I am only a small piece of the puzzle, but every piece when put in place by God is part of the perfect picture He is creating and every piece is necessary.
I've learned that I know nothing and God knows everything and He wants to share His wisdom and knowledge with us so that we can be wise in Him.
I've learned to never underestimate God and yet to always be astounded and amazed at how He works in our lives.
I've learned....
and the list goes on.

And what does all this mean, and what does all this have to do with being happy or not? I believe it means that happiness is not the same as joy in any way, shape or form because happiness has to do with this world and all that it contains and joy has to do with our hearts and how much of God is contained in our hearts. It has to do with eternity.

When God fills every nook, cranny and pot hole in the human heart, there are no rough spots. There are no tragedies, no mistakes and no detours. It is a smooth, straight road that leads toward "home" and what happens along the way is simply part of the journey. We may be jostled and tossed about from time to time, but even that should be an opportunity for joy.

Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way,
let it be an opportunity for joy.
James 1:2
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So many, many people ask us these days, where are you going? When are you leaving? What will you be doing? What they are asking is, what's around the corner for you? What's down the road? Where are your maps, your AAA cards and your guarantee for fun and adventure? Isn't that what travelling is all about? What trips are all about? What RVing is all about?

How do we answer our many well-meaning friends and family members when we have no answers? When all the answers lie with God and He has not revealed them to us yet. What do we do when they look at us like we have lost our mind, gotten off the path, and seem to be heading for certain disaster? What do we tell them when it's something that we only understand with our hearts and not with our minds?

Maybe the same thing we tell them when they ask how we are doing after losing Phil. That God is amazing, that He is healing our hearts far beyond what we would have ever imagined and that He has taught us to trust Him with all things because of this experience.

That without God I would have lost my mind with grief and missing. I would have turned to drugs, alcohol, busy-ness, you-name-it, to simply survive from day to day.
That I don't understand how God works, but that's okay.
That He has taken something so tragic, I wouldn't think the human mind and body could endure it, and He has transformed it into something that feels like a blessing from heaven, because through it all He has drawn us so close to Him that even when we don't have all the answers, we know He does and we are fine with that.
That our lives are in His hands, He is in control, and that is all we need to know right now.
One step at a time, we will walk toward Him and it will all be fine, just fine.
That we just don't need to know, we just need to trust.

As the world looks on, it looks like we are heading into the vast unknown because there is no set plan, no road map, no destination that we are visibly heading toward. When really, none of us knows what we are heading toward, what the next turn will unveil, what lies in wait off in the distance of our lives, or as soon as tomorrow. We think we have a plan, but we make our plans and then we head in a certain direction thinking we have some sort of guarantee and we are shocked when something fails, when something doesn't go as planned, when accidents, or death, or tragedies smack us in the face of our lives and we go reeling off the side of the road into a ditch, unable to recover for some length of time. The choice then is, do we remain there, or do we call for a "tow truck," our Almighty Father in Heaven to come and help us up again, to get us on our way, and do we then ask Him...which way Father?
Which way is best?
Which way would You have me go?
Help me please, because I don't want to be lost without You anymore!

If you need wisdom - if you want to know what God wants you to do - ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking.
James 1:5
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Do we as parents ever resent when our children ask us for advice? Don't we gladly offer it, sometimes before they ask, because we don't want to see them end up in a ditch? We have had years of experience that they could glean from, unfortunately, so many children would rather do it themselves until they've been in the ditch so many times that they have learned the hazards of life on their own. By then, they have their own children and they only wish that those children would then ask them for advice, but of course they usually don't because "they know best"...and so it goes through the generations.

Is it any different with our Father God? He has all the answers, He wants us to ask Him, He will gladly help us along the way. But no, we will do it ourselves, thank you very much.

Well, sometimes in life there comes a point where the rug has been pulled out from under you and you do more than fall into a ditch. You fall down so far and your heart has been so broken there is no hope for recovery on your own. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes that before we will look up and ask our Father for help, and if we are smart, after we have been helped, we will continue to ask for help and never again think that we know enough, that we are smart enough, or that we are wise enough to go it on our own again.

Then and only then do we really become wise. Wise with Godly wisdom because we come to the point in our lives where we know we don't know, and we don't mind not knowing because we know the One who has all the answers and we will gladly ask Him for them. It doesn't hurt our pride, because we have given up our pride for humility. It doesn't hurt our sense of who we are because we have found out who we are, a child of God. It doesn't even make us feel unworthy, because our worth is found in Jesus Christ and He died for us, so we must be worth something more valuable than anything we can ever imagine to Him.

And so we come, as children, vulnerable, needful, and willing, to do what our Parent asks of us because we know that our Father loves us, He would never hurt us and wants only the best for us. We come with open hearts, willing to let Him pour His love into us because it alone is what keeps them beating each day. We come wanting only what He wants because we have tried everything else and even the most successful attempts at living this life without Him do not compare to living this life with Him.

And we don't know. We don't know what tomorrow holds, and it really doesn't matter. The most complete "failure" doesn't even matter because we've already faced that, and it hasn't beat us.

For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.
James 1:3-4
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Our faith has been tested and tested and tested. It is still being tested and we are still growing, but it has been developed to the point that we are ready. Hopefully, ready for anything. Ready to take a step of faith in whatever direction God has for us, and ready for whatever that means. We have faced our worst fears. Anyone who has a child knows what those are. We have come face to face with the greatest tragedy in life, which is death, and it has not beat us. It has only made us stronger because it has shown us the way "home."

Jim and I say now when asked where we will be going first in our RV that will soon be finished, "it is not in the destination, it is in the journey." We have no idea when we will be leaving and where we will be heading. We have not been given that answer yet by our Father. In thinking about that, and whether to plot out a course or not, it seems so right. Even if we plotted out a course for the Grand Canyon, the Statue of Liberty or the Great Lakes, who's to say we would ever reach our destination? If we are not enjoying each day of the journey along the way, we are missing out on the best part of it all. It's all in the journey, because the next corner may bring us to a place of great struggle or heartache and we will be disappointed that we never arrived at the place we had chosen to visit. Phil never arrived at marriage, or college, or parenthood, or even high school graduation. He had it on his map, he had seen the way there, but it was not to be. If he had not enjoyed each day of the journey, so many days would have been wasted along the way. They were not.

We don't want to miss out on each day right now. We live each day amazed at all that God is doing in our lives and we trust Him for our tomorrows. I have to tell you, I actually like not knowing. I like the mystery of it. I used to be a planned person, very planned. I used to have to know, to get it all figured out, but not now. Now I choose to rest in God each day, let Him chart the course and when He is ready, let Him lead and direct us on this journey of life. It is easier, it is much more peaceful and it is much more exciting!

I think that is the ONLY thing that makes us truly happy in this life. Because that happiness is found deep inside and it is labeled "true joy." Not due to the circumstances or the plans or the outcome, but due to the journey and mystery of each day as it unfolds in the most spectacular way possible. God unfolds things in a way that we cannot imagine. When WE unfold each day, it becomes boring and tiresome and stressful. We carry the responsibly on our shoulders and it weighs us down to the point of exhaustion. When God carries us through each day, we know when the day is done. When God calls out "quitting time!", we know it. The strength He gives is gone, and we're on our own. We can feel the difference, we really can. If we are smart, we quit when God quits and call it a day. If we are not so smart, we keep going until it causes us other problems in our life, physical, emotional and spiritual. It is our choice. He always leaves that up to us, but He IS our Father and He DOES know best. We really would be wise to listen to Him!

In James 1:27, it says we should "refuse to let the world corrupt us." The enemy is the prince of this world. He wants nothing more than to corrupt us and to leave us exhausted and miserable. Then he wants us to blame God for our troubles, question God about why He isn't helping us, and join the enemy's camp to sit around the FIRE and complain about life and all that it has dished out for us. The sparks fly, the words are fierce and the emotions are raw. The enemy is happy. He can call it a day, quitting time. He can rest. We cannot. We toss and turn and worry about all our tomorrows because we've spent way too much time in the enemy's camp.

Come on over to God's camp!
He is calling you!

In his goodness he chose to make us his own children by giving us his true word.
And we, out of all creation, became his choice possession.
James 1:18
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I'm in God's camp. I'm His child and I'm enjoying it. He makes all the plans, He provides everything I need, He calls all the shots. I am like a child enjoying the vacation, living each day carefree and in wonderment for what each day holds. Yes, there will be days when I fall and scrape a knee, shed some tears, and don't like the "food" very much, but that's the way it is. It's still the best camp ever because I am loved, taken care of and I'm assured that when camp is over, I will be going "home."

Have you found true joy?
Which camp are you living in?
Is it time to make a change?
Is it time to choose a different camp Director?
Think about it!

Live like a child while there's still time! The world may call you crazy, but you'll know deep in your heart that you are safe. You are secure. And when the lights go out, you will not be frightened.

When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him,
he will lift you up and give you honor.
James 4:10
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God has lifted me up so high, He blinds me with His goodness! In my blindness I can clearly see His way. It is right and true and pure and lovely! He has all the answers to all of life's questions.

That's all I need!

Living in His peace,
Diane