If Only...

Monday, 17 Feb 2003

Sometimes, you just need water and nothing else will do.
Sometimes, you have too much water and the flood levels rise to a dangerous level.
Sometimes, you are parched and there is no water to be found.
Sometimes water is beautiful, and sometimes it is frightening.
Sometimes it does damage, and sometimes it helps to repair.

Water comes in many forms, it is used in many ways, and it is something we absolutely can't live without. Oh, maybe for a day or two, but not long, not long at all.

Jesus knew that, and He knew that there would be times in our lives when "water" would be hard to find. When we would be desperate to be refreshed by it, and we would search high and low for it.

On the last day, the climax of the festival, Jesus stood and shouted to the crowds,
"If you are thirsty, come to me! If you believe in me, come and drink!
For the Scriptures declare that rivers of living water will flow out from within."
John 7:37-38
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Another way of saying it is:

"For the Scriptures declare that rivers of living water will flow
from the heart of those who believe in me."

Have you ever witnessed that?
Have you seen the Living Water of Jesus flow from the heart of a believer?
I have!
I saw it yesterday!
It was an amazing thing to witness, and if this person doesn't mind, I would like to share a bit of what I witnessed...

I saw a friend who has been grieving, mourning the loss of a loved one, running the race they were called to run, and growing weary as the months went on. They desperately were trying to stay focused on the hope they were promised, but they were feeling the floodwaters rise to such a dangerous level that drowning seemed eminent.
Wondering when the pain would ease?
When the joy would return?
When the laughter would come easily again?
Ever searching, ever seeking the One who saves, knowing the truth while at the same time experiencing the trauma of death as never before. Feeling the full impact of what this world can inflict on each one of us, yet still trusting in the midst of it all, day by day, week by week, waiting for the sun to shine again in the darkness of their life.

The brilliance of his presence broke through the clouds -
He reached down from heaven and rescued me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
Psalm 18:12 & 16
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What a supernatural thing to witness! Yes, it is possible to view exactly what God is talking about here, what David wrote about in Psalm 18 when you witness the miraculous healing of a broken heart, smashed to smithereens, and put back together again by the hand of God right before your very eyes. And then, as you stand and talk with this person, this friend who has been broken and crushed and seemingly destroyed, you see the light in their eyes, the smile on their face and the hope in their heart, and you know that all is well. That life goes on. That they can breathe again, as they never thought possible. And then the very Living Water that Jesus talks about flows out of their heart and splashes all over you, leaving you doused with how very much God loves us and cares for us and wants to heal our hurt and our pain if we will only allow Him that freedom in our lives! Allow Him to work with us through the process of recovery that is slow but sure.

Seeing this friend let me view this Living Water as never before. I had seen this person crushed and broken, and I had prayed for this person, knowing what God has done for me, knowing He could do the same for everyone, and it blessed me beyond words to know that this person's life was not destroyed by the enemy, but that the enemy was being defeated right before my very eyes, and that God's promises are for everyone who believes!

This is not an easy path for anyone, this life is not easy for anyone. We will all have our moments of pain and anguish, but they don't have to last forever. They are only for a time, and they will only make us stronger. We may start out on the path like this:

I lie in dust, completely discouraged;
revive me by your word.
Psalm 119:25
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And as we wander through this valley of discouragement we cry out:
Save me, O God,
for the floodwaters are up to my neck.
Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can't find a foothold to stand on.
I am in deep water, and the floods overwhelm me.
I am exhausted from crying for help;
my throat is parched and dry.
My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me.
Psalm 69:1-3
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And we think we will eventually just drown in our misery looking for God because:

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so I long for you, O God.
I thirst for God, the living God.
When can I come and stand before him?
Day and night, I have only tears for food,
while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
"Where is this God of yours?"
Psalm 42:1-3
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We begin to wonder where God is, why He has allowed this to happen to us, will we be rescued from our pain? We are so tired...

My life is poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart is like wax,
melting within me.
My strength has dried up like sunbaked clay.
My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
You have laid me in the dust and left me for dead.
Psalm 22:14-15
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We NEED that Living Water, we know we won't last much longer, and just when we hit the very bottom of the pit, when we think we will never recover, never come up for air, never lift our head out of the darkness of our pain, we discover something...

When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
it will become a place of refreshing springs,
where pools of blessing collect after the rains.
They will continue to grow stronger,
and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.
Psalm 84:6-7
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And the sun starts to peak out from behind those dark clouds, and to our amazement
we find a peace like never before,
we find the rains are collecting into pools of blessings,
we find a direction in our life like never before,
and we know that we will never be the same, that life will never be the same, but it does not make it a bad thing. It only makes it a different thing. Something we know we will need to adjust to, and learn to live with, because our hope is not in this world. It is not in repairing the "tragedy," it is in Believing in the One who is providing the Living Water that pours new life into a heart we never thought would beat in a sure and steady way again.

And that Living Water then pours out of us, splashing onto others like my friend's did on me, and it refreshes those around us who might be "thirsty" because life has gotten dusty and dry lately. This is how the body of Christ works, in encouraging others, in helping others, and in functioning the way that God designed it to work. We then find that:

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have everything I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk through the dark valley of death,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
Psalm 23:1-4
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Many of us know this Psalm. It is read at many funerals, but I believe the realization of it, many times, is the end result of months and sometimes years of pain and suffering after a loss or difficult circumstance in our lives. It is where we find ourselves when we hand our pain to God and allow Him to heal our hearts as only He can do. It sounds good when read, it sounds comforting for the grieving, but some, maybe many, never find this place of rest. They really have not found those peaceful streams. They have only found raging white-water rapids that seem to take them down stream much too quickly, and eventually end up drowning their "victims" for the rest of their lives. Their strength never returns fully, and they are afraid. Afraid someone else will die, someone else will leave them or something else will happen, and they will have to withstand another blow to their already broken heart that has never healed in the first place.
How can I possibly have "everything I need" when I hurt like this?
In this difficult situation?
In this confusion?
How God?
How?

It makes me think the other day how great the day was going, how exciting life can be these days, how happy Jim and I are to be preparing for our RV adventure, and I came into the house on a pink cloud, only to find myself looking at the picture of our three boys. I said to myself, "Everything is so good, if only Phil was still here. I wouldn't have a problem in the world."

Then Pastor Dave talked on Sunday of how powerful two words can be. He gave numerous examples of two words that can change your life like, "I do", "I'm pregnant", "You're fired", etc... He was talking about the two words that John wrote about Jesus:

Jesus wept.
John 11:35
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It was a great sermon on Sunday and when Dave started to say how much two words could mean, I didn't even realize that I had been dealing with just two words for a couple of days also. My two words were:

"If only."

I had been running those two words over and over in my mind also. And yet when I really thought about those two words, "if only," I knew I was heading down the wrong road. A road that God did not desire for me to go down, but being human, of course we sometimes choose those roads because we think they might get us somewhere. Only to find out they are nothing but a dead end and we have to turn around and make our way back out of there if we are to continue on in our lives.

I quickly hit that dead end, and realized that my two words really solved nothing, and if I were to look at them deeper, I really had no idea what life would be like "if only" Phil was still here with us. Maybe he would still be sick and suffering, maybe he would be a troubled teen and we would be neck deep in a drug addiction or something else? Maybe he would not believe in God and I would be concerned with his eternal destiny each day of my life instead of knowing that he now lives in heaven and I will surely see him again? I could have gone on and on with what life might be like "if only" Phil was still here. It could be very good, but maybe not. I like to think it would be all rosy and wonderful, but perhaps not. Life happens!

I started thinking about the people I know and I realized that everyone I know has "if only's" in their lives. If any one of us gets caught up on those two tiny words, they are words that can destroy what is good, what is possible, and what God has planned for each of us. The past cannot be changed, but the future can be travelled into with hope and peace when we focus our thoughts in the right direction.

Why did Jesus weep in that verse? The shortest verse in the Bible? Because Lazarus had died. He was his friend, and the family and friends around Jesus were mourning. Jesus mourned with them. It is a normal human reaction at the time of death, and Jesus was God, living in a human body for 33 years. He felt the same emotions we feel, and He faced the same temptations we face. But, He had everything He needed in this life because He knew His Father. He trusted His Father completely. He did not live thinking "if only," but He lived knowing that all things had a purpose, that all things were in God's plan, and "if only's" changed nothing, they are a trap that the enemy sets to keep us looking backward, not forward.

In the story of Lazarus, Jesus had taken His time coming to help out when He heard that Lazarus was sick. In fact, He didn't arrive until four days after Lazarus had died. Martha was Lazarus' sister, and she said to Jesus:

"Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.
John 11:21
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Sounds like an "if only" to me!
A very human reaction, don't you think?

But Jesus knew what He was doing. He knew that God had a reason for this, and in fact Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead when He got there, and God's glory was seen by all the people who witnessed this.

Jesus was not late, there was no mistake, there was only God's plan on that day.
Many people believed in Him because of what they witnessed.
Sometimes, most times, God works in ways we can't understand, but He really is painting a perfect picture!

It brought me back to the realization that if I were to have my "if only" granted, and Phil was suddenly brought back into the picture, I would have changed the Monet or the Picasso that God was painting, only His painting is far above any of the great artists of this earth.

What I was asking for was a brush stroke to be removed, a color to be changed, a pattern to be added that was not supposed to be there. I was asking the Artist to change the painting to suit my needs or my likes, and who was I? What right did I have to change anything? I like to draw also, and to think that someone would come up and tell me that something needs to be changed because it doesn't meet with what they were "expecting" would be crazy!
Art is individual, it is unique, it is one of a kind, and it cannot be put into a box and changed to suit each person who views it!
It stands as it is, take it or leave it, it is.

God is!
He is the great I Am!
God is creating a Masterpiece here like none we have ever seen before. There will be many brush strokes that seem wrong, or off balance, or just out of place until we see the final product. Until we get to heaven and we can see it as a whole. I hope that we will in heaven because I am very curious to see all the brush strokes as one final Masterpiece!

It reminds me of  the TV show, "Trading Spaces." So many times when the designers come in to redo the room with their designs, they start with colors in buckets and swatches of fabric, and you can't even imagine what they have planned for that room. Some of the people they work with are trusting, they have seen the designer's work  because they watch the show themselves, and they know which designers they like. They go with the flow, so to speak, and are amazed at what comes out after two days of transforming the room they are working on. Some people though, know that the designer they are working with can do some pretty weird things. They are working in their friend's homes and the friends are trusting them to not let anything too crazy happen. They start to put their foot down saying "no" to some of the crazy ideas planned. Of course, they usually lose out because that is the way of the show, and the designer gets his/her way. Unfortunately, this can be good or bad. One time they stapled thousands of flowers to the bathroom walls. Six thousand staples that would need to be removed if the people didn't like it!! But anyway, I digress...! Most of these rooms turn out pretty decent, but it's hard to imagine they will when you see the things that have been planned in scattered pieces. A lot of things just don't seem to belong or to match up or seem to work, but they usually do in the end.

With God, there is no "usually." God's plan is perfect, His design is perfect, and He won't be hurrying in the end because the "two days are up" and we have run out of time. God made time, He is not locked into its constraints. As the author Max Lucado says, "By showing us the heavens, Jesus is showing us his Father's workshop." (The Great House of God)

God is not out in the garage with a workbench, using a power saw! He has all the power He needs, He supplies all the power we need, and if we start playing the "if only" game, we could start to tamper with all that He has planned for our futures by locking ourselves into our pasts!

Sure I wish Phil was still here! Of course I do! That's a human emotion that cannot be denied, but it can be taken care of with hope!

Jesus told her,
"I am the resurrection and the life.
Those who believe in me, even though they die like everyone else,
will live again."
John 11:25
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If you want to see Living Water flow out of a human heart,
find a heart that is filled with the Holy Spirit of God.
Find a heart filled with His hope.
Find a heart that has come to Jesus thirsty beyond words and has been refreshed by the promise He left us with on the last page of the Bible:

Let the thirsty ones come - anyone who wants to.
Let them come and drink the water of life without charge.
Revelations 22:17
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It is FREE!

There is a drug store in South Dakota called "Wall Drug." They built their business by offering FREE ice water to thirsty travelers. It got the travelers to stop for a drink and then of course purchase a few items while they were there.

We have been offered something much greater than that! It is more than a liquid water, but a water that quenches our thirst forever. It refreshes as no other, it gives strength to the weary and hope to the hopeless. It is an everlasting promise to us. It is our source of peace!

And he will be the source of our peace.
Micah 5:5
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What I witnessed in our friend on Sunday was that peace, that strength, and a hope that can be found nowhere else on this earth except in the promises of God.

In Jeremiah it says the heavens are shocked when we exchange "God for worthless idols."
It is called evil.

They have forsaken me - the fountain of living water.
And they have dug for themselves cracked cisterns that can hold no water at all!
Jeremiah 2:13
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That is what we do when we play the "if only" game.
When we would rather dwell on what isn't than on what is.
When we would rather look for what's missing in the picture,
rather than what God is creating in the process of our lives.
When we search for answers in this world where there are none, turning our back on the One who has the Living Water that we are needing to quench our thirsty hearts.
When we exchange God's promises for the lies of the enemy.

Lord, you have brought light to my life;
my God, you light up my darkness.
In your strength I can crush an army;
with my God I can scale any wall.
As for God, his way is perfect.
All the Lord's promises prove true.
He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
Psalm 18:28-30
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Paint away God!!
Your craftsmanship and artistry are awesome!
When there seems to be an erroneous brush stroke from my viewpoint, I will trust You and I will travel on, drinking from the well of free Living Water that you have provided for the journey!

Living in His peace,
Diane