After The Rains!

Sunday, 22 Sep 2002

Psalm 84:5-6
Happy are those who are strong in the Lord,
who set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
When they walk through the Valley of Weeping it will become a place of refreshing springs
where pools of blessing collect
after the rains!
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Can you picture a small girl skipping along the street, coming upon puddles of water left from the drenching rain? Can you picture her stomping in those pools of water with her rubber boots on, enjoying the splash she creates, laughing in merriment? I see her yellow rain slicker, and her yellow hat, maybe an umbrella in hand. Not a care in the world as she moves along down the street towards home.

Is that me? Is that the woman that was laughing today with her friend outside of her friend's new home? Laughing about things that might not seem funny to the rest of the world, but laughing anyway. Just because...just because God had put a song back in her heart. Maybe just because the cares of this world seemed so far away. Maybe just because what was visible to this world was not as important as what was hidden in her heart.

I came home laughing in my car and I wasn't really sure why. I came into the house laughing and tried to explain it to Jim. I don't know if he understood my laughter. I didn't, but I think I do now. Let me try to explain, if you will.

Today was a hectic day at the office, but a great day. Some things went right, some things went very wrong. But were they wrong really? God has a plan for all things, I love to watch it unfold. The van that had been rented for the youth became a problem. There was no record of the rental, so there was no van to haul the youth to their weekend retreat. A friend of mine loaned her van  to carry a portion of the kids, which left her at the church with no car. I was asked if I would take her home, and that was not a problem. So off we went at the end of the day, chatting all the way as we drove out to her new house. When we pulled up in front of her house, she offered to show me around. They are in the middle of remodeling the entire place. So in we went!

Now, this is no ordinary house. Jim and I live in an ordinary house. You know, a few bedrooms, a couple of bathrooms, a two car garage. Cozy you might say! :) This was more like a mansion! We laughed our way through the rooms, as I lost count of bathrooms and got turned around and partially lost following my friend from room to room. The kitchen was spectacular, and I knew it was way beyond what I might need since take-out is my favorite recipe!

I found "Jim's" room, but of course I thought more of it as a great Raider Football entertainment room since I am the football fan in our house. Jim would have been comfortably seated in there watching Sci-fi, I imagine! And loving it.

We ventured out back to their LARGE second garage where they are living until the remodeling is done and I got to check out their cozy living arrangement for the time-being. I laughed once again, because Jim and I are in the process of down sizing...to about 400 sq. ft of living space. We want to buy an RV and live in it! More on that later... This garage living arrangement is small for my friend's family, as the larger house is prepared for their eventual move into it, but I told my friend I would stop staying up nights crying over her living arrangements!! They are not suffering in the "garage"!!

And so, the tour ended and we found ourselves back out front again. I told her I would be sure to wash my car before my next visit, to keep up with the standards of the neighborhood! We laughed again.

So why do I share this story with you? Because of who we are. My friend and I. We are two woman who are married to great guys, have three wonderful sons, live a good life, and both serve the same God. We have a deep desire to find His will for our lives and follow the path He has for us. But our journeys are very different. Mine has been filled with heartache as of late. Hers has not. Mine is simpler and "cozier", hers grander and more spectacular. I would rather talk with one person at a time. She would rather be on a stage in front of 500. But we laugh together, and we talk together and we question God together. Why does God provide so much for some, and so seemingly little for others? But is it little, or does it just appear that way? Who can judge something like that?

As I dove into God's word tonight seeking answers to these questions and I pictured myself once again out in front of that beautiful home, God gave me a picture of my heart. An enormous heart that held all the blessings He has given to me. It was like God was saying my heart is His home, He lives in there and it is His mansion. It holds all the things the world can't see, but the things that I can feel. His love, His goodness, His kindness, His gentleness, His faithfulness. It is a vast "home" filled with all the things He wishes for me in this life.

I wondered how I could stand outside of her home and laugh about the fact that we could be living in a "trailer" soon, and considering the fact that my son had died, I still laughed. What was I laughing about anyway? Surely not the fact that my son died, don't get me wrong. That was not it at all. I think I was laughing because I felt blessed beyond measure. How do I explain that to the world? Could she understand my joy? I think she could, because she is so overwhelmed with God's blessings in her own life.

Some may say, of course she is, she has it all. She has the perfect life. What more could she want? And yet, would it be the perfect life without God? I think not. I know not! That vast space in my heart that fills with the good things of God is also a space in her heart that needs God, no matter what the wealth. No matter what the living arrangements. That space in her heart that needs God and is filled with the blessings that she feels is not filled because she "has it all", it is filled because she has it all with God. She knows God personally and she knows where all good things come from.

What would that house be worth, what would those possessions be worth, if she should find herself in my shoes emotionally? I will not say it but you know what I mean.

You might as well burn the house to the ground with everything in it, for all that it would be worth. You might as well pitch a tent in the yard and sleep in that for all that she would care.

The specially chosen tiles, the beautiful painted walls, the large screen TV would become a blur compared to the loss that was felt. And then what would you have?....only God living in your heart. Only God occupying that vast space in your heart...or not. It could be empty. He could not be living there because you could have said "no" to Him over the years, and He may not have found a home in your heart yet, and you would be left with nothing. Everything that mattered, suddenly wouldn't, and you would be left empty and would you be laughing? No way, no how!!

You may wonder how I can even be laughing at this point. I wonder that myself. I am astonished at the healing that has gone on in ten months. I am shocked that I can feel the way I feel after only ten months of my son being gone, truly shocked, and I don't mind telling you that. When this all started I told you that I would tell you if God's promises were true. I would tell you if He really could heal a completely broken heart. Well, I'm here to tell you that there is healing beyond measure already, and He has only just begun, I know.

Psalm 84:1
How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord Almighty.
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That is how I live, in His dwelling place. And His dwelling place is in me. It occupies a mansion- size space right in my heart and each day I live He keeps filling it with more and more blessings. Not blessings that the world may notice. Not huge homes or expensive cars or the latest outfits, but blessings that nourish my soul. Blessings that keep me laughing when there is nothing to laugh about. Blessings that make me look forward to getting out of bed in the morning because of what He has in store for my day.

Psalm 73:22-26
I was so foolish and ignorant -
I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
Yet I still belong to you; you are holding my right hand.
You will keep on guiding me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever
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What do I desire on this earth? Nothing like I desire God in my heart.

Psalm 73:28
But as for me, how good it is to be near God!
I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter,
and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.
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It doesn't matter what kind of "shelter" you have on this earth when what is most precious is gone.  What matters then is to know where they have gone, and how you are going to get there. I know both, and I can live satisfied all my days until I see Phil again.

Satisfied and laughing with my friend, in front of her beautiful home.
Satisfied and laughing because these things don't matter one bit. They are only the things in life that God has given us to enjoy for a short while, and they really don't matter at all. If she lived the rest of her days with her family in that temporary garage space, it really wouldn't matter because she would be on God's path for her life. She knows that.

Psalm 84:4
How happy are those who can live in your house,
always singing your praises.
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She "sings" His praises every day. She feels blessed beyond measure and wonders, why her? So do I. I feel blessed beyond measure, and the world may wonder why? The world may not see it the way I do.
They would see that she has everything,
     and I have lost everything.
My life should not go on with joy.
     Hers has no blemish.
The "world" has no idea!! Only those walking in the "shoes" that God has provided can really know. Only God can know the heart and bless accordingly. And only those being blessed can truly know what those blessings are because they don't always match up with what the world would need to "see" to call a person blessed.

Psalm 86:4
Give me happiness, O Lord,
for my life depends on you.
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All our lives depend on God, whether we know it or not. Take God out of the picture and what do you have? No sun, no moon, no stars, no flowers, no mountains, no people, no world whatsoever!! He is the Creator of all things! What you'll have is that place down under, and I'm not talking about Australia!!

Is there heaven on earth? I believe there is.
Heaven is when you can laugh and feel joy when you think there is no possible way.
Heaven is standing with a friend in front of her mansion and talking about moving into a trailer, and it making no difference at all.
Heaven is peace and contentment in whatever your circumstances because the One you trust in knows all, sees all and controls all and there is not a thing in the world to worry about beyond that.

Psalm 84:12
O Lord, Almighty,
happy are those who trust in you.
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Heaven is happiness in this crazy world we live in. Stomping in the rain puddles with your big rubber boots on because the cares of this world seem as they did when you were a small child and your parents handled all your worries. They provided your home and your food and your clothing and all the comfort and love you could ever want or need. And you didn't even have to think about it. You didn't even have to be thankful for it. Most times, you didn't even know you should be. It was a given.

But now that you are grown, and now that you may have your own children, or your own home or your own set of responsibilities, you may long for that simpler time when someone else took care of all your needs.

Guess what? You have a Father who will, who wants to, who longs to. He will give you heaven on earth by coming into your heart and building a mansion there that becomes His storehouse of goodness. He will bring the laughter back. And it will feel so good. It won't matter where you live, because Christ will be living in you!

Galatians 2:19-20
I have been crucified with Christ.
I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me.
So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting
in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
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When all is stripped away, what is left is the beginning of all that is good. Only then can we truly enjoy that mansion or that cozy house to its full extent. Before then, it might be the very thing that puffs us up and makes us proud and arrogant or takes us down and gives us shame. But when all is stripped away, it might be the very thing that keeps us humble, or makes our hearts burst with gratitude to the One who provided everything we have.

God gave us everything when He gave us His Son. Start there, and all the rest will make more sense than it ever has before. Then God's gifts to us will give the enjoyment they were meant to. The enjoyment we experienced as a child who was content to splash in the puddles after the rains! Not a care in the world because we were loved and we knew it...so we laughed!!

Living in His peace,
Diane