Have you lost your senses?

Galatians 3:3 (NLT)

Or as written in the NIV Bible:

"Are you so foolish?"

Some may say so after today! Some may think I have totally lost my mind, my senses, and become very, very foolish...have I?

Today, in just about an hour, I will leave to drive to Hayward with Jim and pick up my new/used motorcycle. Yes, a woman of 46 years of age has taken, passed, and now possesses a motorcycle license--and will soon begin the adventure of riding one of those crazy things!

Have I lost my mind?
What can I be thinking?
What have I been told my entire life?

Actually, the rule at my house when I was young always was, if you own a motorcycle, "you don't put your feet under this table."

And, upon telling my mother that I just bought a motorcycle even at 46 years of age, her comment was:
"That is gruesome! I don't even want to talk about it!"

So what in the world am I doing?

Is "in the world" the clue there? Does freedom in Christ have anything to do with this decision? I'm not even sure, but let me take you on this journey with me, the one that brought me to today...

Jim has always liked motorcycle, I have not. He has always wanted one, I have not. In fact, when we were first married and had young children, I forbid them! I could not see him riding off and killing himself on one of those things and leaving me to raise our children alone!

Then in 1994, while living in Germany, something changed. I'm not sure quite what, but somehow I relented, he bought his first bike, and then after a year, exchanged his used 750 for a brand new GoldWing, which is the biggest Honda made. It has a 1500 cc engine and all the trimmings. Some call it a couch on the road. It is so quiet, unlike a Harley, that I have actually fallen asleep on the back seat while taking a long ride with him. Our last long ride in Germany took us to the Rhine River! So beautiful! What a trip.

But, back to the beginning...after Jim purchased his beautiful new 1994 GoldWing, he promptly took it out and totaled it, spending 17 days flat on his back in a German Hospital, while recuperating from 2 fractured vertebrae.

Did he say that was enough? No way, as soon as he was up and able, and with the help of his insurance, he went out and found another 1994 GoldWing, exactly as he had had before and ordered it. He has been riding that bike ever since. Sometimes I even forget that this is the second one he has owned because there is no difference from the first.

Needless to say, I believe Jim is a better and safer rider now because of his accident, but also what amazes me is that he "got right back on the horse" so to speak. He was not going to give up his dream, and he has enjoyed years of riding this second bike.

Now, as far as I was concerned, I was "putting up with this." I was not at all interested in ever getting my own license, and riding on the back with Jim was done only on sunny, warm days, usually with a great lunch somewhere being more important than the ride on the motorcycle. Motorcycles were just not my thing, and Jim knew it.

For years, he would talk with me about them, and once in a great while mention something to me about getting my own license. He knew though, that it was all just talk. There was no way I would ever be interested enough to get my license. Why would I? Especially since I have my little dream car, a convertible Mustang bought in 1996. It has suited me just fine! If I were to win a million dollars and could buy any car I wanted, this would probably be it! It is enough fun for me!!

So what happened?
Did I lose my senses?
What changed my mind?
What am I thinking?
Am I crazy?

I'm not sure! I don't know what happened. We were just riding along in the car one day and Jim was talking again about me taking a weekend safety course and getting my motorcycle license and I said, "Yes." I told him I would do it! Well, I think he almost had to pull the car over to regain his senses because he was shocked! But, I was serious. I consented to do it, and I'm not even sure why. It just seemed that I was to go ahead in that direction, so I did. He quickly signed me up for a course, but it was two months before I got into the class. In June, I took my safety course, which I have shared with all of you in an e-mail, and completed it on a Sunday afternoon. All that was left to do now was take the written test at DMV. With this course you don't have to take the driving test again, which was a huge relief to me!

This past Wednesday, I had my appointment at DMV, and took the written test and passed! It's a tricky test, much more so than the one for a car...and I flunked the first time. The nice lady there let me take it again, and then I passed it! I wasn't the only one there that day that flunked it the first time. I talked with a man the next day, who called into the church when I was working, and he had been at DMV trying to pass the motorcycle written test also. He said he took it three times, and he had been riding a motorcycle since he was 14 years old. (He was new to the state.) That made me feel better!

So there I was, a class M1 license in my hot little hand! When I got home I looked at Jim and said, "Give me the key!" He looked at me like I was nuts! Did I actually think I was then going to hop onto his 1500cc, 900 pound bike and go for a ride?

Of course I didn't! That would be crazy! My weekend course consisted of riding around a parking lot on a Honda 250. That would be quite a jump up in size, and I knew I was not ready for that. So, what was next? I had no idea! I only knew that for some reason, I had come this far, taken all the steps, and only God knew what was in store!

I am reading a book called "The Will of God as a Way of Life" by Gerald L. Sittser. In this book, the author talks about God's will being like a string of rooms, all connected together with a doorway through each one. When all the doors are opened, you can see straight through each of them, and following that path is God's will for you. But what you don't know is that when you step through each door, you enter another room, and that room is also filled with doors you can choose from. You didn't even know those doors existed until you were obedient and walked through the open door you could plainly see.

Isn't that so very true? Until we take that step of faith and walk through the door that is directly in front of us, we have no idea what God might have waiting for us in that next room. The different paths our lives could take? The opportunities that might be missed had we not stepped into that next area of our lives?

I passed my final test on Wednesday, having stepped through another door, but I really didn't know why. I just knew that it seemed the right thing to be doing at the time. Once completed, I was waiting for God to show me why.

What happened next shocked me! I woke up Thursday morning and it came to me--to sell my car and buy a motorcycle! What? I loved my little car? I had no intention of selling it just yet, and in fact, many people have asked me what I am going to do with it when we start traveling full-time, and I've basically laughed to myself and thought, "Keep your hands off my car!" I knew there would come a time to give it up, but not yet. Please, not yet!!

Then Thursday morning came, and there was nothing I wanted to do more than to sell my car and buy a motorcycle! I promptly told Jim and he just about fell off the couch! He smiled at me like I was once again crazy...but hey! He was the one to suggest I get my license! He knew...I was serious! He has sort of been laughing at me ever since. He says not, but I can tell! I see that grin! I asked him why he is laughing at me...he says it's because I don't usually get that excited about things, and I'm like a kid at Christmas!

What had God done to me? Was it even God who had done it? Once again, I pondered and prayed about this whole thing, looking for God's will, God's hand, and God's direction through it all. I went from not even caring about motorcycles, to wanting to sell my car and buying one? My very own bike? Could this really be from God?

My initial reaction is no, this is not from God. Why would God even care about motorcycles, much less encourage me to do something so dangerous? And then I started to see what I had been doing my whole life...I was keeping God in this little box. A box called "conservative." Not conservative as in politics, but as in life-in-general.

It reminds me of a conversation I had with a Pastor of our church on Friday. He was explaining to me how we view God in much the same way as we view our father on earth, and actually our mother is included in that picture also. The things that they instilled in us in life, give us a glimpse of who we will then think God is. What He is like. What He thinks about the things we do and say.

Now, I grew up in a great home with wonderful parents. This is not a parents bashing story, but just a story about changing how I view my Father in heaven. I know that parents do the best job possible when raising children. I tried to do my best, but I made my share of mistakes. I did many of the same things my parents did, and one of those things was to be conservative. To be responsible, buy a home, set good standards, be strict but loving, and keep everyone as safe as possible, especially three boys who didn't always want to cooperate with my idea of safety. Once I took Chris (our middle son) on a birthday ski day with three of his friends. We lived in Germany and the Alps were at our "backdoor." I remember distinctly telling them to "be careful" and before we even had lunch I saw the four of them coming down the side of the mountain, through the trees, way off the "official" ski path cut out of the mountainside! Ahhhh! I just prayed they all lived through the day, and they did! Thank you God!

Conservative! That's the best way isn't it? Stay safe, play it safe, and stay within the box that assures that safety...is that our Father in heaven? Is that what He asks us to do? Is that the world that He has given us to live in? Which brings me back to talking this over with God and asking Him what He thinks about my motorcycle riding? Do you know what He revealed to me? He is not afraid of motorcycles. Why? Because He is in complete control of them, just like everything else.

Now, I am not saying here that they are not dangerous. Of course, there are many more chances of getting hurt. That is obvious. There is no protection...or is there? What about God being in control?

It is even hard for me to write this because it is so ingrained in me that motorcycles are DANGEROUS! They are not to be ridden by any responsible person in their right mind! My own mother said it is "gruesome." She hated the idea that I would be riding one. How do I break away from that conservative thinking and do it anyway? And is God really asking me to or is it my own thinking gone mad?

And that's the way it was with us before Christ came.
We were slaves to the spiritual powers of this world. But
when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a
woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom
for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us
as his very own children. And because you Gentiles have become
his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into your hearts,
and now you can call God your dear Father. Now you are no
longer a slave but God's own child. And since you are his child,
everything he has belongs to you.
Galatians 4:3-7
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That's the way this "new life" feels to me. The one God has called me to. It feels like a new freedom, with God being my new Father. He is the one who makes up the rules now, and His new rules say, enjoy! This world belongs to Him, and because I am His child, it all belongs to me now. I am no longer under the rules and regulations my parents set for me that still could live on in my mind, God directs my path now. I can follow Him, and He will lead me "home."

I learned through Phil's illness something very important. As a conservative parent who was truly trying to be responsible for the health of my child, I did everything I could do for him to live. Whatever the doctors asked, I did. When Phil needed to be in the hospital he was there, even though he never wanted to go. When pills needed to be given, they were. When blood tests needed to be done, I would do them, even learning to draw them at home. I crossed every "t" and dotted every "i," as I put it. And what I learned is, that God is in control. Even as the bags of chemo would be infused into Phil's body, I would pray over them because I knew they would do nothing to take this cancer away if God did not will it. I knew that Phil would only live if it was God's will for him to do so, and so I prayed. But, with every "t" crossed, and every "i" dotted, Phil still died. His earthly body could not go on, and his spirit left for heaven at God's appointed time. All my conservative responsible actions could not keep him here with me. God was in control, and I had to relinquish that to Him. It was the only way I could find any peace in the situation.

Now, God was not calling me to act irresponsibly. He was asking me to do my part, to take care of my child, to be the best parent I could be, but He was also asking me to leave the rest up to Him and to trust Him no matter what. I am still learning to do that. It is getting easier and because of that, God is taking me to places I never expected to go...like owning a motorcycle.

Now, God is not calling me to act irresponsibly here either. I took the safety course, I will ride within my limits which is one of the main rules of safety on a motorcycle. I will wear a helmet and follow the speed limits, and I will leave the rest up to Him and trust Him no matter what.

I believe God wants me to step out of the box. I believe He wants me to know Him as a Father who has no limits, who is not bound to the rules of this world or the rules that were set up in my mind by my parents. I believe that God is showing me that He is my Father, that He owns everything and it is all under His control, and I am free in Christ to enjoy it all, even motorcycles. They are no big threat to Him. Terrorist are no big threat to Him. Kings and Presidents, and even the Governor of California are all under His control. God knows exactly what He is doing at all times, and we are the only ones who feel we need to be conservative to keep things under control--and what kind of control is that? It is in our own strength, and in our own way if it is not given up to Him at all times. Then we have a false sense of control and our freedom is limited to what we think, to what we have been taught.

God is not calling us to rob a bank, to commit adultery, to lie to a neighbor, that is not His way, but I believe He is calling us to live life to the fullest, to follow where He leads us, to find freedom in His Son!

For you have been called to live in freedom--
not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but
freedom to serve one another in love.
Galatians 5:13
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God has not made a ton of rules for us to follow. We as parents do that. We do it to keep our children safe from harm's way. We don't want them to fall out of that big tree, so we ask them not to climb it. We don't want them to flunk out of school, so we set up homework times. We don't want them to marry the "wrong" person, so we try to keep them from hanging around with those we think would be "wrong" for them. We do our best to raise them to be responsible, caring people who will be successful in this world. That is our job, we make the rules, they follow them, or they "don't put their feet under our table."

God says we are free! We know the rules now and God says:

For the whole law can be summed up in this one command:
"Love your neighbor as yourself."
Galatians 5:14
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Is God for motorcycles? Who knows, but I know He doesn't fear them.
Is God for quitting your job and hitting the road full time? Who knows, but I know He doesn't fear the future.
Is God for being a missionary in Africa? Who knows, but I know He does not fear for His children because He is always with them wherever they go.

For me it is time to break down the barriers that have been set in my mind by the rules of this world about what is safe and what is sane, and to follow where God leads me. I had no intention of ever getting a motorcycle license, and up until last Thursday morning, I had no intention of ever owning my own motorcycle, but now I do. If God has brought me here, it is for good reason and I will enjoy every minute of it. If God is simply allowing me complete freedom in Him for whatever reason, I will enjoy it. If God need not fear, than neither should I! He is in control.

It is time to go and pick up my new bike. But I want to share one last story with you. As we went out to look at motorcycles last Saturday, not to buy, but just to LOOK, our first stop was at a Kawasaki shop. We thought we'd just take a look around, since we were much more interested in Honda's anyway. As we walked into the shop, there in the middle of the store, set out in plain sight was a beautiful bike. Not knowing much about motorcycles, I figured it was a Kawasaki, but then I noticed, it was a Honda Shadow. It was painted in sort of a mauve color, which seemed very feminine to me, and it was a used 2001 with only 2,800 miles on it. We were told that a gentleman had just traded it in that day. He had come into the shop for accessories and had left with a new motorcycle instead, thus leaving this one here...

Is that you God?
Did you place this motorcycle here for me today?
It sure seemed to have my name on it...so we bought it.

Is this God at work? Does He really have women 46 years old get their license and then encourage them to buy their very own motorcycle? I don't know for sure, but I know one thing, there is freedom in Christ! He alone has set me free, and since this world is no longer my home and I am only passing through, I might as well do it on a motorcycle!!

Living in His peace and joy,
Diane