Where Do I Go?

Monday, 28 Apr 2003

Where do I go when nothing on this earth will satisfy?
Where do I go when all possessions have lost their value?
Where do I go when all the beauty in this world falls short?

I have found only one place...
One place that can satisfy.
One place that is of value.
One place that doesn't fall short...that place is being in the presence of God.

God's presence is found in prayer. The road leading to His presence is paved in submission. It is cut through the landscape by daily surrender. It is a peaceful, wonderful place to go when the world hurts too much, when life is too tough, and when questions have no answers that will satisfy.

Too many miss this wonderful place. Too many are living life in the fast lane, and this place sits off on a side road, perhaps in a green valley with a creek, some deer and a field of colorful wild flowers.

Too many speed on past this exit, never realizing what lies down that winding road, never taking the time to explore what they may be missing, and never finding true rest in this life.

Where do I go when nothing else will do?...I go down that road searching for the only thing, the only One who can give me what I'm looking for, for what I'm missing, for what my soul can't live without...peace on this earth.

There are times when I hunger for peace, when my heart aches for it, when I feel as if I may just die if I don't get it. It's when an emptiness starts deep in my soul and it starts to fill me with sorrow. It starts to make me sad and steals my joy. It doesn't hit like a ton of bricks anymore. It doesn't take me down like it did early on in my grief, but now it seems to settle in slowly, almost gently, but settle in it does. And when that emptiness starts to settle in, I know there is only one place I can go. Only one place that holds relief. Only one place where it all makes some sense...into God's presence.

Because of God's tender mercy,
the light from heaven is about to
break upon us to give light to
those who sit in darkness and
in the shadow of death, and to guide
us to the path of peace.
Luke 1:78-79
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Every fourth Saturday of the month, we have a Prayer Meeting at our church. Every fourth Saturday we come together with however many, or however few, and we spend two hours with God. Two uninterrupted hours in His presence.

You may say, TWO HOURS, that's crazy! I've got things to do. I've worked all week, I'm busy on Saturday with the chores. The kids have ball games. The house is a mess. There are bills that need to be paid. There are birthday parties to attend.

All great things, all things that are part of this world we live in, all things that need to be taken care of or social events that we like to attend. That's for sure!

But...that winding side road is there. That exit off the fast lane is available. There is a place where those who are looking, searching and desiring to find peace, can. It doesn't take a prayer meeting, but it helps. All it takes each day is a willing heart and some time.

When the ache in me begins, I could ignore it and fill it with something else. I could sit in front of the TV and watch a movie for a distraction. I could eat a bowl of ice cream, or read a book or call someone and talk on the phone. I could do any number of things, and they might help for awhile, but I will still be left without the peace that I long for. The emptiness will simply be covered over, ignored, pushed down deeper and possibly cause me more problems down the road...an accident in the fast lane waiting to happen.

If I pull over now, follow the signs that lead me toward God, and sit for awhile with Him, I will be renewed. I will be filled where I am empty, and I will be able to make some sense out of something that makes no sense to a mom who is hurting and missing her child. In prayer, I will find the peace that I long for when the days seems so long without my son.

This life is fleeting, it is only a blink of an eye compared to eternity, I know that. I can tell myself that, I can convince my mind of that, but sometimes my heart will just not cooperate. It says, BUT, BUT, BUT...I am here now, I am hurting now, I am missing now, what do I do with that? Where do I take that?

Indeed, God is ready to
help you right now. Today is
the day of salvation.
2 Corinthians 6:2b
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That help is found down that winding, quiet, gentle road that leads to peace. That help is found in prayer and prayer alone. It is found when we will shut the rest of the world out and get alone with God and simply pour out our hearts to Him, one on One.

There is nothing else that will do! You can try other things, but they are only temporary. God is the only One with a permanent solution to whatever ails you, to whatever has broken your heart, to whatever fills you with sorrow.

Two hours in God's presence...have you tried it?
Do you know what? Once you get there, you really don't want to leave. There's no better place to be! There is nothing that seems more important once you've arrived there. The burdens that seemed so heavy just a short time ago no longer weigh you down. The questions that had no answers, can be left with Him. There is an assurance that all is well, all is in His control, and life is much more bearable. Worries are much less worrisome, and troubles seem so much less troublesome.

Sounds like a great drug, doesn't it? Sounds like the best little cocktail that's ever been stirred up! The best fantasy spot on earth!! It is, and it's all free! It's all been prepared, provided for, even died for. Jesus Christ did that for us. He wanted us to have peace. To be filled with joy. To live a great life! But how do we do that with everything we have to endure? There's only one way that I have found...prayer.

Prayer is where our will is aligned with God's. It is where our hearts are transformed, and where God reveals Himself to us in the most fulfilling way possible. It is where we will breathe in deep and be filled with all of Him, and come away prepared to meet the world head on, because we know whatever we might have to face, we will not have to face it alone ever again.

Prayer is so underrated, and so misunderstood. It is thought to be boring and perhaps a waste of time. But it is just the opposite. It is the most precious jewel imaginable, but it gets buried under the pressures of this world. It gets lost in all the hustle and bustle and this many faceted diamond is wasted. What a shame!

Prayer cannot be rushed. Oh, we can whisper a prayer at any time, lift up a specific need very quickly, drop to our knees in a moment and cry out to God. He hears us, that's not even in question. It's the other side that we miss out on. Our side. It's the side where the diamond sparkles and grabs our full attention and everything else falls away except for our focus on our Father in Heaven. It's where we don't want to take our eyes off of Him because we are so drawn to being there with Him that nothing else matters, and all the hurt we came in with is gone for the moment. It's where the peace that He promised us is felt like no where else. When there, we find that prayer is not boring or time consuming but fulfilling and wonderful, and time doesn't even matter except that it never seems to be long enough when we are in His presence. Once there, we hate to leave when the world calls to us again but we know we have to, and we long to come back to this place again as soon as possible!

That is prayer! That is where peace is found! It is where we can go when there is no place else on earth that can come close to satisfying what we need
when we hurt,
when we are lonely,
when we are troubled
when we are confused.

God has all the answers. That doesn't mean that He will always give them to us, but what He will do is satisfy our hearts when we are with Him, and the answers won't be what is so important anymore. What will be important is being with Him.

How does He do that?
I don't know, it is beyond what we can fully understand. How can simply being quiet, spending time with Someone we cannot even see, and most times can't even hear be so satisfying?
I don't know! I only know that His Word says to pray. Jesus prayed and urged us to pray. Prayer is somehow very important to God, and it has taken me quite awhile to understand the peace and the power that it contains. There would have been a time when the last thing I would have thought about doing on a Saturday afternoon was going to church and spending two hours with God in prayer and worship. It never would have crossed my mind.

For a lot of my life I didn't give God much thought at all. He wasn't my first thought in the morning or my last thought at night. I didn't listen to worship music or attend church any time there was a service going on. I didn't pray much, didn't understand why I should. I had no idea there was even a "winding road" that I should venture down.

What if I had gone through my entire life like that? What if I had never found that "diamond" of peace that God had left us with? What if I had always believed but never really enjoyed all that God had provided for me in this life? What if I had gotten to heaven and seen all the things I had missed out on because I had never taken the time to open my eyes to them? What if I had not lost my son, not had to deal with his long illness, not felt this sorrow and this grief for the last 17 months of my life, and what if I had not been shown all that was missing in my relationship with God?

A lot of "what if's" that make me who I am today. I'm sure you all have some "what if's" in your life. We all do. Things that make us the people we are. Things that shape our futures, that lead us one way or another. Some we are grateful for, some we are not so grateful for. How can we be? They were so horrible...!

And yet, I am grateful for the most horrible thing that has ever happened in my life! I shake my head in wonderment to even write that...because it is beyond my understanding. It is beyond what I could ever imagine. It is only in my time spent with God that I am able to be grateful for what has drawn me closer to Him. What is horrible really can be a blessing. When I have no place else to go except to God because there is nothing else that will satisfy the emptiness I feel, it becomes a blessing. It draws me close to Him and our relationship grows as never before. When nothing else makes sense, God always does. He then becomes everything I will ever need or want, and He is my greatest blessing! Then I am free to truly enjoy all the other people and things that He blesses me with.

There is nothing like prayer, like time with God, like being in His presence that puts it all in perspective! It's not that I come away with all the perfect answers, or that it brings Phil back to me, but it takes me to a place where I can function with this "amputation" in my life. Where I know he is missing and I will not see him again on this earth, but I can live with that because when it does become more than I can live with, I can pray. It is my escape! My way out! My drug of choice!! It relieves the pain like nothing else can.

Am I addicted to it? You bet! Is it harmful to me? I sincerely doubt it! It may be "harmful" to those around me because it confuses them or scares them as to why I would want to spend so much time with God, but maybe in time it won't. Maybe they will follow me to that exit, off the fast lane of life and down the winding road to find some peace too. To find that quiet spot in this busy world that they long for? Maybe...

Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. Peter answered three times that he did, of course! Jesus asked Peter to "feed my lambs," to "take care of my sheep," to "feed my sheep."
(John 21)
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Jesus wants us to take care of one another, to love one another, to help one another along in this life. When we love Jesus, we can't help but want to do that. We can't help but want the best for others. We don't want them to miss out on anything that God has for them in this life, especially what is most important, a relationship with Him!

It is not about religion, or time spent in church, or works of the flesh. It is about being with God. About not ignoring Him in our day, about being grateful for all He does in our lives, about not being so distracted with all that He has given us to the point of missing out on all that He has for us.

"His purpose in all of this was that the
nations should seek after God and perhaps
feel their way toward him and find him -
though he is not far from any one of us.
For in him we live and move and exist."
Acts 17: 27-28
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"He himself gives life and breath to everything,
and he satisfies every need there is."
Acts 17:25
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"...every need there is."

My needs.
Your needs.
Everyone's needs!

No matter how big, or small, God cares! He's waiting to help us! He wants to.

When my heart aches because I am missing my son, God alone can satisfy that need.
When your heart aches because of the needs in your life, God is there for you!
You'll find Him in prayer. God can hear us anytime we speak, or even when we don't, because He knows our thoughts.

We are not God. We cannot hear Him every time He speaks and we have no idea what His thoughts are. But in prayer, many times He will reveal things to us, speak to us, help us in ways we never could have imagined had we not spent that time with Him. It is beyond our understanding how it works, but it is not beyond our understanding when it does work! Then we just know without a doubt that He is our helper, He is our comfort, and He is always here for us because we have found Him time and time and time again in prayer. In that prayer time, we find that He is our Friend.

So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new
relationship with God - all because of what
our Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in
making us friends of God.
Romans 5:11
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I remember one day when Phil was first ill. He was out back in his Grandmother's swimming pool. Phil loved to swim, and it was a warm summer day in Fresno. He came up out of the water and he said, "Mom, when I swim I don't even feel sick."

I thought about that this morning during my quiet time and as I was thinking about how powerful prayer is and how much I love spending time with God. I smiled to myself and thought,
"God, when I spend time with You I don't even feel sad."

The water lifted Phil's spirits, it lifted his body from the heaviness of chemo and he felt good.
Prayer offers us the Living Water of Christ. It lifts our spirits, relieves life's heaviness and makes us feel good. Why wouldn't we want to dive right in and enjoy what God has provided?

Living in His peace and joy,
Diane

P.S. I have written a small pamphlet on "Solitude with God." If you would like a copy, please send a SASE to Diane Shore, 850 Levitt Pkwy, Rockledge, CA, 32955. I would be happy to send you one. Just mark the outside envelope with the word "Solitude" and that's it!