Remain In His Love

Monday, 12 May 2003

REMAIN in me (v. 4)
I will REMAIN in you (v. 4)
REMAIN in me (v.5)
-my words REMAIN in you (v. 7)
REMAIN in my love (v. 9)
REMAIN in my love (v. 10)
REMAIN in his love (v. 10)

Taken from John Chapter 15, New Living Translation.
I'm reading through John right now, and the word "remain" appeared seven times in this chapter. God knew my heart on this day and His Living Word spoke directly to me...
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Have you ever wanted to just remain where you are, to not move, to stop the world from spinning and hold onto a day because the joy that filled your soul felt so good? A day when the sun was warm, the sky was blue and all seemed right with the world? A day unlike most days when normally stress from the world can crowd out all the peace within.

Ever had one of those perfect days?
That's the day I had today.
Mother's Day, 2003.

It seems impossible. It seems inconceivable. It seems miraculous. And it seems that way because it should be impossible, inconceivable, and it would take a miracle. Last year was the hardest Mother's Day I ever had. I dreaded it coming, I prayed my way through it, and I was glad to be able to lay my head on the pillow that Sunday night and have the day be finished.

Not this day.
Not this year.
Not at all.

Was there anything different this year than the last?
Actually, I didn't even see my boys this year. I talked with both of them, but was unable to get together with them this year.
The day was still filled with joy!
So what was different?
A whole lot of "pruning" has taken place and a whole lot of healing has happened in one year.

John 15:3
You have already been pruned for greater
fruitfulness by the message I have given you.
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There's been a whole lot of "cutting" going on, and it seems today was a day to "Remain." To be still, to appreciate, to enjoy and be filled with an overflowing joy.

John 15:9-11
"I have loved you even as the Father has loved me.
Remain in my love. When you obey me, you
remain in my love, just as I obey my Father and
remain in his love. I have told you this so that
you will be filled with joy. Yes, your joy
will overflow."
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Overflow! Last year I could barely imagine just a little bit of joy on any future Mother's Days. Today I am overflowing with joy. My heart is full. It is at peace. And I don't take one second for granted, especially on Mother's Day of all days.

Today should be tough. It should be filled with sorrow. It is not. There is a peace that goes beyond my understanding. It is a peace that can be rested in even when it doesn't make sense. It baffles my mind because the world would say it is not possible. Your child has died, he has been taken from you, you will never see him again on this earth...this is terrible.

I know that! I know it is terrible! I've had those days, those weeks, those months when I could barely breathe. I've had those nights when I could not sleep because the thoughts were so torturous. I've been faced with all the things that any grieving parent has to deal with and walked through it day by day, one prayer at a time. I have sobbed at unexpected moments when something will break my heart without warning. I have watched other youngsters on their way to school, at the mall, in the theater and thought of all the things my son is no longer here to enjoy. I have been receiving graduation announcements just this week celebrating the Class of 2003...not having ordered any for Phil this year. Yes, I know it is terrible! I know it is tough! I don't deny that one little bit! And yet...God...GOD...GOD is AWESOME!

Jesus is bigger than the biggest hurt...when we "remain" in Him.

Jesus says in John 15:5:

"Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches.
Those who remain in me, and I in them,
will produce much fruit. For apart from
me you can do nothing."
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I refuse to be "apart" from Jesus! The stubborn woman that I am says "No! I will not leave you Jesus! Apart from You I can do nothing! I cannot leave my house. I cannot smile again. I cannot sing with joy. I cannot be a good wife and mother. I cannot move on with my life. I cannot live fully. I cannot, I cannot, I cannot...it would be impossible!"

I may walk out my door, I may put on a smile, I may sing, I may be a wife and mother, I may start new things, I may live my life; but not fully, not joyfully, not gratefully, without You!

I don't want to be a victim of the Enemy! I don't want to be drained and tired and worn down. I know what that is like. I choose to be victorious by staying attached to the Life-Giving Vine, Jesus!

John 15:6-7
Anyone who parts from me is thrown away
like a useless branch and withers.
Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned.
But if you stay joined to me and my words
remain in you, you may ask any request you like,
and it will be granted!
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I've had my "withering" days for sure. The days when I prayed for life to be over, for Jesus to come back SOON! Please Jesus, get me out of here!

But mainly, day by day, I have stayed attached to the Vine. I have taken my nourishment from Jesus and I have used all His strength to help me put one foot in front of the other. My main request...heal my heart Lord Jesus. Heal my heart!

It has been seven years this month since Phil was first diagnosed with Leukemia. It almost feels like seven years of pruning, but I know there were many peaceful days in there along the way.

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.
He cuts off every branch that doesn't produce fruit,
and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so
they will produce even more."
John 15:1-2
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Lots of "branches" have been cut off but today was a day of rest. Not ever taken for granted again, I hope. Our lives can be changed in an instant, in a phone call, any time day or night. We are not promised a life without difficulties, we are promised help through them. We are promised a Vine to attach to so we don't wither and die in the scorching heat! We are told to remain in His love so that we will be filled with joy. Not just filled, but overflowing! And then we are asked to love each other in the same way that we are loved by God. (John 15:12)

God loves us so much that He gave us His only Son, and His only Son laid down His life for us so we could have joy. That should not be taken lightly and it should also be taken advantage of! What a waste if we do not. What a waste if we never find that joy in our lives. What a waste if we let the evil one steal that from us during our days on this earth.

Today I just wanted to "remain." I didn't want to move to the left or to the right. I didn't want to move too fast, or get too complicated. I wanted to keep it simple, soak up some warm sunshine, eat a good meal, and have a day of rest. God even rested on the 7th day, and it was good. So was today!

To remain in Jesus, is to hold tight to Him, to stay focused on Him, to depend on Him, to trust Him, to allow Him to work in and through our lives, and especially to love Him. When we do that, we are attached to the life-giving Vine. It is where our nourishment for each day comes from. Without being attached, we will wither very quickly and become good kindling for the fiery darts shot by the evil one. We will be susceptible to whatever he throws at us, and there will not be many peaceful days on this earth. We will be running away from his destructive ways, and we will not have the strength to run very far before collapsing.

For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine -
John 15:4
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Let's not live a severed life! Let's live a life of joy when the world says it's impossible! Let's show the world what Jesus can do when we remain in Him! Let's take those hurts right back to where we're attached to the Vine and let Him heal them with the life-giving nourishment that flows from Him and Him alone.

I live in astonishment each day for the healing that God has done so far in my heart. I would not have thought it possible had I not lived through it myself. Others might have told me about it, and I might have listened halfheartedly, but Jesus wants our whole heart. I handed it over to Him because it was all I had to offer Him and it was so messed up, so broken, I thought He wouldn't even want it. It was exactly what He wanted because then He could mold it in His way and make it better than new. He's still working on it too!

No, our children can never be replaced. There is nothing that can replace a child in our life because each child is unique, but God has a plan to surpass the hurt and the loss if we will allow Him to work in our lives. It is difficult. We don't want to. We don't even think it's possible, so sometimes we don't even want to try. But try we must if we truly want to be healed.

He gives us the choice. He loves us that much. He won't force His love on us and He won't force His healing upon us, but He provides both if we are willing to love Him and trust Him fully.

Lord Jesus, I will remain in You. You alone have all that I need. You are the Vine, and I am happy to be a branch that is attached to You. I will draw my strength from You, I will not depart from You and I will be forever grateful for the joy You fill me with.
Thank you for giving me a choice...I choose You!

Living in His peace and joy,
Diane