He Knew It!

Monday, 24 Feb 2003

He knew the day we would be born
He knew the day we'd die
He knew our thoughts before we did
He knew if we would lie
He knew our imperfections
He knew our sorry state
He knew what we'd be good at
He knew what we would hate
He knew when we would sit down
He knew when we would stand
He knew the path ahead of us
He knew each woman and each man
He knew our hearts and our minds
He knew our inner parts
He knew each day of our lives
He knew before the start
He knew the hairs upon our heads
He knew the color too
He knew it all before the dawn
He knew before we knew

Psalm 139
O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.
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He KNOWS everything, and in a world where we think we know everything, that may mess things up for us.
Just when we think we have it all under control, we don't.
Just when we think we know the answer, it changes.
Just when we think we are on our way, the direction has been switched.

If we are not connected to the One who knows all, we are utterly and completely lost, and we don't even KNOW IT!

Psalm 139:15
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
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God was there!

Psalm 139:16
You saw me before I was born.
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God could see!

Psalm 139:16b
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
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And we think we're in charge? What are we thinking? It's craziness, I know!

God created everything that ever walked or swam or flew on this earth. He created the plants, the rivers, the lakes, the streams. The oceans, the mountains, the sky, the stars, and the moon. He created the snow, the rain, the hail, the sun. He created it all, and He created man. Each and everyone of us, in His image.

No wonder we think we know it all! Look who we take after! The One who DOES know all! Our Father in Heaven!

After creating us, God gave us a free will. That's scary! Sure, He knows what we will do before we even do it, but we don't. We are making choices every minute we live. He knows who we know and He knows what we know. He hears what we say, and He knows what we are going to say before we even know we're going to say it. Sometimes, if you listen closely, He'll even try to stop you from saying it before you get yourself into trouble. The problem is, most times we don't listen and we say it anyway. It is our choice to make.

Where can we go to get away from God?
Nowhere!
He is everywhere, at all times. If we think we are hiding, we are not.
He knows, He's there, and He loves us despite our foolishness!

Psalm 139:7
I can never escape from your spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
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So why does it seem at times when we are searching for Him most, He is nowhere to be found? Why does it seem in some of our most desperate moments, we are alone?
Has God really left us?

Absolutely, positively not!

Joshua 1:5
I will not fail you or abandon you.
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So what has happened?
Life.
We are so distracted with it that when we call on God, we don't recognize Him.
He is not familiar, but a stranger.
The life we have been given is the very thing that will distract us from the Giver.
The One who created us gets left in the "workshop" as we head out the door thinking we can do it all by ourselves now. We don't need help, we don't need wisdom, we don't need anything else that He has to offer us because we are wonderfully and beautifully created in His image. We quickly forget that we need Him, and that:

He created everything there is.
Nothing exists that he didn't make.
Life itself was in him, and this life gives light to everyone.
John 1:3-4
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So out we go, out the door, and we don't even realize we're heading straight into the darkness of this world without protection. Straight into the arms of the great deceiver as he awaits our arrival into this world. Did he know we were coming? I don't know, but he knows the minute we are here, and he starts in on his own plan for our lives from that moment on. A plan for destruction.

We are brought forth from that warm, cozy, protected womb and brought out into a world that makes us cry, right from the beginning!! We are quickly wrapped in a blanket and cared for in the best way possible, but the "womb" is behind us, and our life is ahead of us.
The life God knew we would live!

Psalm 139:14
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous - and how well I know it.
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Oh sure, we aren't thinking that right away, obviously! But you can bet our parents are thanking someone for this new little bundle of love in their arms! They may not know God, they may not know who to thank, but they are thankful all the same!

They may not know quite what to with us, but their love for us is almost instantaneous as they marvel at our feet, our hands, our noses. As they wonder who we look like most, and what our personalities will be like.

Thankful! For most new parents, yes.
Knowing whom to thank? That's another question!

And so we grow and learn, and become more and more independent as the years go on, eventually moving out on our own one way or another. Life begins to become a little more difficult as the years go on, things happen as they always will, health issues become more concerning, our jobs have their stresses and our relationships can be good and bad. We start to think we may be missing something, but we're not quite sure what it is. We wonder about the purpose of it all, and it seems to make sense and yet it doesn't. It seems short, it seems fleeting, and we don't quite know for sure what we are doing here. But, God knows!

He's been waiting for this moment in our lives when we would begin to wonder about Him.
What was He thinking when He created us?
Why are we made the way we are?
Is it some mistake, or is there some greater plan?

It seems there's just something that doesn't quite add up, without some greater purpose. This was my thinking years ago. It sort of went like this...

I had seen those religious fanatics who seem to be at that church down the street all the time. What could be going on there? Is there something there for me? I wondered...

But I really don't want to be like them. They don't have any fun! They carry their Bible around all the time. They lead a boring life full of religious laws that they must follow to keep themselves "holy", and they miss out on all the fun in life...or so it seems.

They don't get to do much. They are so restricted from all the things most people like to do. Or is that just the world's perception of their lives? I wondered?

Is it possible that my life out here leaves me missing what they enjoy in there?
Is it possible that the church is God's house on this earth where His children gather, and they feel at "home" there?
Is it possible that together they share a special relationship not only with each other but with someone greater, higher and all knowing?
Am I missing out on the best part of this life, by building walls to keep out my Creator?
What would I have to lose by investigating it all a bit?
By asking a few questions?
By stepping into a church on Sunday morning and listening to what they have to say?
What am I afraid of?
That they will capture me and drag me into their cave and never let me go?
Devouring me with scripture and prayer?
How scary can that be?

And if I never venture in, if I never allow myself that opportunity, what will I be missing?
Perhaps nothing, but perhaps everything I've ever been searching for.
If I am strong, sensible, and self-sufficient, there is nothing there that can harm me. I can listen and just say no. Walk away and know that I have at least investigated the possibility that there might be something there for me. Maybe it's not what I was seeking, and that is fine. I will know then.

If it is what I have been looking for, what will I do with "it" then? What if there really is a God and He really did create this world I live in? What if He really is my Heavenly Father, and He really did send His Son to this earth to die for sinners? What if those sinners really are forgiven, and they really are on their way to heaven when this life is through? What if I discover a truth in there...will my life as I know it be over? Will I be disappointed that my life is changing, that I am finding something that I never knew existed? Will it be a good thing? Or will it ruin all my fun?

Am I really having fun out here? Is this all that I expected it to be? This life? This moment in time that has been allotted to me? Have I really found what I am looking for out here, so much so that I have no need to go "in there"? If I am asking these questions, perhaps that is my answer?

But...I've resisted for so many years, they will laugh at me. They will call me a fool for waiting so long, they will not welcome me in because I have been on the outside so long, no one will understand what I am even doing there. They will stare at me, and I will be an outcast from the moment I step through that door. I wouldn't know what to do when I got there. I wouldn't have anyone to talk to. No one to sit with. I would be alone...like I am in the world. Where no one really understands me anyway, and most of the people I call friends would not come to my rescue if I had a crisis. They don't know my children's names, or my spouse. They have never met my other friends, who seem to be very few right now. Most people are too busy to get to know one another anyway.

What am I saying? Am I saying I need to go and try this strange place out? See what goes on behind those doors? See if there is a reason that I am here on this earth other than to make money to buy a home, a car, a boat and a vacation home? A reason for getting out of bed each morning besides the paper and my first cup of coffee?

I'm so scared. I want to run away, I want to hide, but my life is passing me by so quickly. I need something more to hang onto. I need to be needed, wanted, and useful for more than a paycheck and a job well done. For more than a good dinner on the table, and a clean house to be proud of. I need a reason for being here...

I just don't know...does God?
Should I ask Him?
Will He tell me?

I could start at the beginning. Buy a Bible, open it up to the first page:

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
Genesis 1:1
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I've heard that before. Is it true? Who wrote this Bible anyway? By whose authority? Was it all one person, or several? How old is it? Is there anything in here that could help me? Oh, there's that part about the snake in the garden of Eden. Haven't we all laughed about that scenario. What does it say?

He's trying to fool Eve, get her to eat the fruit. We all know she does. She ate that apple. I thought this was pretty much a children's story...it talks about struggling all our lives, scratching out a living. Is there some truth to this? Let me flip through this book...

I don't know. I don't know what to read, where to go. What it all means. It all seems so foreign to me. So boring. Could this really be for me? It doesn't seem so...

Maybe I should just go to that church down the street and let someone teach me about this book until I understand it better myself. Maybe they could help me. Maybe they would be nice to me and not reject me. They might even welcome me as I walk in the door. Maybe it will be okay if I sit alone. It will help me concentrate on the information they will have for me. Maybe there will be other people there who feel as I do. Maybe it will be their first time, and we could talk about that some day. Maybe I do need something more than what I have right now and the hardest part is just admitting that to myself. That I'm scared, that I don't know, that I want more, and that I'm not sure where to go looking for it.

God, if you are really true. If you are really with me right now, help me know what I should do. Help me know where I should go. Help me know that you are real. I'm searching here God, I'm stepping out and allowing for the possibility that you are real. That I am missing out on something and that that something might be You. I don't know where to start. I don't know who to ask. I don't even know what to ask, but I want to know if I am missing something in this life. If there is more than what I am seeing, tasting, hearing, smelling, feeling. You may be what I am looking for, but I don't even know where to look. Help me God to find You, and I will try to be open to the possibility that You do exist. That I do need You, and that I am...a....sinner.... Oh, that's hard to say. I don't feel like a bad person God, but if I am, help me to know that I need your help here also. I feel so lost sometimes, I don't know where to turn. Will You bring someone into my life that can help me find You? I need You...I think...do I? Help me to know. I don't want to be living this life for nothing. I want it to have a purpose. I want to leave something behind when I go that makes a difference. I want my life to mean something more than what it does now. I'm starting with you God. If you're really there, help me find You. I'm looking!

Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
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God has created us in such a magnificent way that we forget we need Him in our lives. We think we know what's best, how to do it, what needs to be done, and we leave the Creator back where He created us and live as if we created ourselves. We become so full of ourselves, there is no room for Him.

Somewhere along the road of life, and it may be when we're very young, it may be when we're very old, or anytime in between, we will realize that something is missing. That this can't be all there is, and we will start to question. We may try to quiet those questions because they scare us and we really don't want to know, but there is not one life on this earth who will not feel the need for God. Not one, if we are honest with ourselves. I tried to deny it, but it could not be denied. This is not exactly how it happened, but there's a lot of my story in this one. I was searching, I was scared, I was hesitant. I have come "home", and I am so grateful.

In Matthew 18, there is the story of the Lost Sheep. If a shepherd has 100 sheep, and one wanders away, the shepherd will go searching for it until he finds it.

Matthew 18:14
In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father's will
that even one of these little ones should perish.
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Jesus came so that none would be lost. His Father sent Him to retrieve the lost sheep of this world. He is calling out to each and everyone of us. That's what we feel when we don't know what it is that calls to us. Some will continue to wander away, not wanting to be found. Some will come back willingly. Some will take their time making their decision. But it is a decision, and it will be made while we are here. If we don't say "yes", then we are saying "no". If we have buried that call on our lives so deep inside that we can't find it on our own anymore, ask God to help you rediscover it. He alone knows the path that leads to everlasting life, and He wants to shine His light into the darkness that surrounds you and lead you home!!

Psalm 139:3-6
You chart the path ahead of me, and tell me where to stop and rest.
Every moment you know where I am.
You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.
You both precede and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to know!
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We can't know, but we can trust in the One who does. If you have questions, find someone who can help you. Keep searching, keep asking, never give up. It's your life, it's your eternity. It belongs to no one else and no one else will be able to answer for you when your day is done. You were created by a loving God. You were created to have a relationship with Him.

That's what is missing, just in case you were wondering...

Living in His peace,
Diane