San Damiano
01/24/2006
When someone else senses a leading from God to get together for prayer, what might that look like? What can one expect to hear? Will the message be for the "two that are gathered together" or a separate message for each individual heart? There's only one way to find out...go and pray! So, that's what I did this morning with a friend of mine. We took off to the San Damiano retreat grounds and prayed.
As I left home this morning, Jim asked me when I would be returning. I said, "When we hear from God!" I could not have known then how true that statement was.
Meeting up with my friend, Lilia, we took the drive up into the foothills around here to a beautiful place designed for prayer. In the midst of the busy Bay Area, it's amazing to have such a spot, where the views are spectacular, the peacefulness is evident and the ways of this world can be left below in the valleys.
After so much rainfall here in California, this morning there was sunshine! What a pleasant surprise. I have been in an office all week, working five days instead of my normal three, and it felt great to be out in the cool air and warm sun! Lilia and I found a spot on a bench near a cascading fountain and we chatted a bit. We got caught up on Christmas, and other things going on in our lives, and then we entered into a time of prayer...whatever God put on our heart, we prayed. Sometimes we would go back to chatting, sometimes we would carry those conversations into our prayers, and we could even be found laughing from time to time over the silly-ness of our prayers. But, we knew God didn't care. He is always happy when we take the time to include Him in our lives.
We weren't quite sure what we were looking for on this day, but I know I went with an expectation to hear from God. My expectation came from what was actually a misunderstanding in an e-mail Lilia had sent me. Now I believe that misunderstanding was all part of God's plan so that nothing would stop this time in prayer together, because Lilia said she had battled during the week as to the purpose of our time together. She almost canceled. That was definitely the enemy trying to stop what God had planned, but to no avail.
As we sat on our bench, Psalm 80 came to my heart, so I opened it and read it over slowly, looking for what it might contain that would be of interest to us, or give some explanation as to why we had been called to pray together on this day. Like any Scripture, things can be found to apply to our lives, but nothing seemed to clarify our purpose for this mini retreat on a Saturday morning. After a while, the sun dipped behind some clouds and it grew chilly, so we found the chapel and went inside. There was no one there except a Priest over in his office, so we took a seat and grew quiet. There was a grand piano over to our right, and a small pulpit area up front, with a set of stained-glass windows behind it. Our prayers became silent prayers, with my eyes mostly shut...Lilia's eyes were drawn to what she saw in the stained glass window. It seemed riveting to her. It was a design of a man, speaking intensely to another man, while the world seemed to go on all around them.
When our time in the chapel seemed to be finished, we decided to go for a short walk on the grounds, and we spoke of many things. Lilia asked me upon leaving the chapel if God had spoken to me...I told her He had not, but as we walked and talked, Lilia revealed that God had told her a few things almost immediately upon sitting down in the chapel. Like we sometimes do, she wanted to push away the words that came to her because they came too quickly--God wouldn't be that fast...or would He?
As the hours went by, it became very clear that on this day, God would be found by those who seek Him. The words Lilia received were simple, yet profound, and we talked of them as we slowly made our way back to our car. She had wanted to write them down, but could not find a pen at the time, but later we were able to put pen to paper and this is what had come to her:
I love you. I created you. I am blessing you because you
have faith in Me.
That's all I ask.
But, your actions have to follow your heart.
We weren't very sure what this all meant, but it seemed as we made our way back to the car we weren't done yet. I had come to "hear from God" and even though we had some bits and pieces, it didn't seem complete. I spotted a couple of chairs off to the right of the pathway we were on, so we made our way over to them and took another seat under the cover of the building. As we talked on, a misty rain began to fall.
Lilia started to share about being very drawn to the stained-glass window in the chapel, and I had to admit I hadn't even really noticed what it contained. She said the intensity in the picture showed the same emotion that she felt in the intensity of the words God had spoken to her heart about faith. We tried to pinpoint what that was exactly, and the closest we seemed to come was that when we have faith in God and are fully satisfied in Him, He is also satisfied. That He created us to believe in Him, and when we do, we are reconnected with Him the way He first designed us to be in the Garden of Eden. It pleases Him, more than words can say.
(A few days later Lilia was to share with me a quote from Charles Spurgeon that further explained what she felt when God gave her those words: "Oh, that He (God) would bring us into the Godhead's deepest sea till we were lost in his immensity and could exclaim, 'Oh the depths, oh the depths!'" She said that is what she sensed when God said, "...because you have faith in me." That depth...)
During our talk as the misty rain fell, I opened my Bible again, and read the words in Psalm 80, feeling called to demonstrate to my friend what was written there. I'm not much of a touchy-feely person, but it was as if God was saying, put your hand on her shoulder, show her what I'm talking about in verses 17-19... "Let your hand rest on the man at your right hand, the son of man you have raised up for yourself. Then we will not turn away from you; revive us, and we will call on your name. Restore us, O Lord God Almighty; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved."
With my hand resting on her shoulder, we were able to experience more of what David was writing about in Psalm 80. And in talking about that kind of faith, we knew we would not be so apt to turn away, but would remain focused and calling on His name in our lives. There seemed to be progress being made, but still, had we heard fully from God? It seemed we had not. What was it exactly we were waiting to hear? We were sort of like a couple of young girls in a Nancy Drew Mystery book! We were looking for clues as to what God wanted us to come away with on this day.
Lilia suggested perhaps we go back into the chapel to look at the stained-glass window, and although I wanted to, I also thought maybe we should be going. We'd been in prayer and conversation for almost four hours at this point, and maybe it was time to leave there, but thank you God, He led us back to the chapel for one last look. As soon as the door swung open, my eyes locked onto the colored glass before me and I saw the very thing written in Psalm 80, I saw the hand of a man resting on the shoulder of another man! Wow! How had I missed that? And how had Lilia? She saw it for the first time also, in that way. Before she had only noticed the intensity between the two people, now she also witnessed the hand on the shoulder, and we knew God was starting to show up big time!! We had come to this place to seek God, and He was being found by us!
We went in and took a closer look, and then took a seat again, knowing that there was still more to discover on this day. In going back over the words God had spoken to her heart, we realized that those words could have been the very words spoken between these two individuals in the stained-glass window. A man, the younger of the two, stood listening intently to an older man with white hair. The world went on all around them--one women seemed to be running somewhere, another man was walking by, intent on where he was going, a young girl might have been on her way to church, bible in hand, and then there in the other stained-glass window was a mother and a child, with only the child pointing up to a white dove in the sky. In the midst of all the chaos and commotion, this intense conversation between the two men was taking place; perhaps between God Himself and someone who had stopped long enough and was interested enough to hear the Truth of what was being said. Perhaps God was saying:
I love you...I created you...I am blessing you because you
have faith in Me.
That's all I ask.
But, your actions have to follow your heart.
As "God's" hand rested on the younger man's shoulder, "God's" other hand was being used to illustrate the point of That's all I ask. How do I describe that to you with words? "God's" hand was in front of the man, about chest high, and His fingers were gathered together as they came in contact with the thumb, in a gesture of preciseness. Like He was saying, It's simple, it's clear, and I need you to get this...that's all I ask...believe me when I tell you this! It's like when Jesus says, "I tell you the truth"...(Matthew 8:10) There's no messing around in those words!
Lilia and I were starting to hear God more clearly now!! It was getting exciting! God had taken us from out on the bench, giving me Psalm 80 there to read, even though at that time it wasn't clear why, He brought us into the chapel to pray, where Lilia was drawn to the illustration on the glass when God gave her those words. Then we had walked along on the path outside, discussing what had happened so far and the words God had given Lilia in the chapel, and yet still there were pieces missing. It seemed we weren't getting anywhere at that point, and unbeknownst to me, Lilia thought she'd be home by one...it was now moving past 2:30 in the afternoon. After our earlier conversations, which included how we both love to collect watches, it's interesting that on this day I didn't have a watch on. Very unusual for me! She said she would have cut our time shorter, but after my saying, "We'll be back when we hear from God," she knew she didn't dare say it was time to go! Her schedule would have to be put aside. We were starting to see why!
Never had I gone somewhere like this with just one other person to specifically pray just to hear from God! My prayer time is usually done alone because when we are together with others, time is almost always an issue. Our schedules are different; we have other places to be--what if we are silent too long? What if the other person gets bored? What if we don't have anything to pray about anyway? Praying intensely with another person in this way takes a great deal of trust and a comfort level that we don't find with a whole lot of people. It's much easier to go to a place of retreat and spend that time alone with God, doing our own thing. But I have to tell you, this morning was an amazing time of learning about prayer and how God really is present where two or more are gathered. If we can put things aside, our own agendas, our own needs, and just seek Him until we find Him, He WILL be found by us! Guaranteed! It took us about four hours this morning--almost leaving before we experienced what He wanted to show us--but in God's goodness, He kept us moving in the direction where He would be found, and as the pieces of the puzzle started coming together, our eyes lit up with excitement.
Why, you might ask, would praying together even be necessary? Because, we strengthen each other. We encourage one another as fellow believers, and even though the enemy is trying with all his might to keep us from connecting with our God, he is not able to quite as easily when we join together as one. Just this week I read on the back cover of Discipleship Essentials by Greg Ogden, that "We grow in Christ as we seek Him together. Jesus' own pattern of disciple-making was to be intimately involved with others and allow life to rub against life. By gathering in twos or threes to study the Bible and encourage one another, we most closely follow Jesus' example with the twelve disciples." As another friend told me when I shared this with her, it's so neat to see a "name" put on something that God has been leading us to do as she and I have been meeting together for prayer and fellowship time also!
You see, Lilia was tempted to cancel our prayer date, but she came because she knew I was planning on it. I almost didn't turn to Psalm 80, as we sat by the fountain, because my mind wanted to dismiss that God had even given me that Scripture--but I read it anyway because He gently prodded me to. We were there to share with each other what He was putting on our hearts. As the sun went behind the cloud and it grew cool, we were led into the chapel to pray, and even though Lilia was tempted to dismiss the words God gave her almost the minute we sat down, she did not because our conversation with each other drew them out of her, so she shared them. As we sat and watched the misty rain fall, God had me read Psalm 80 again and place my hand on her shoulder, even though the enemy wanted to stop me by saying, "She'll think that is so silly. You know that's not like you, don't do it," but God overrode those lies so I would do it anyway. Lilia was the one who suggested we go back and look at the window, I would have gone on home, but I was encouraged by her talk of it, so back we went. And as the door swung open and we both saw the hand that was placed on the shoulder of the other man, we KNEW God was moving in our hearts and in our lives to bring us just that much closer to Him! We were two people, seeking our Lord, and finding Him together in an amazing new way!!
The enemy can defeat us when we are alone much faster than he can when we are with someone else who also knows of his tactics. When we are tempted to deny that what is happening is from God, we can have a friend by our side to encourage us that God is with us! That He is speaking to us, that He wants to be found by us, and together we are able to share in the excitement of that! Together we saw the pieces God gave to each of us as they were joined together--creating a picture that was intimately drawn by Him, one that goes beyond description!
Before we left the chapel for the last time today, we knelt at the alter and prayed in front of that stained-glass window. Not worshipping the picture before us, but thanking our God for the way He reveals His Truth to us when we are willing to come before Him and seek Him with all our hearts.
Our desire as we left San Damiano today, was found in the final words God gave to Lilia when He said, "But, your actions have to follow your heart." We knew that if our hearts belong to Him, we should trust the desires God puts in our heart and follow them. The passion God has given us should be used to the fullest to glorify Him. We should never let the world and its ways distract us from His calling on our life. If our hearts are calling us to the mission field, our actions should follow that. If our hearts long to serve the poor, serve away. If they call us to sell cars, then sell cars with all the gentleness and love of God that fills us. Whatever it is, matters not where or what others might think, what matters is a heart fully surrendered to His will in our lives, always being willing to put our faith into action when called.
Lilia and I were hoping to get a post card with the picture of this stained-glass window to take home, so we went into the gift shop before leaving on this day. We didn't find one, (we took a picture of it instead), but what I did see was a picture of the cross that had been in the chapel. It was a Cross designed after the Francis of Assisi with this prayer underneath it.
The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord let His Face shine upon you
and be gracious to you....
Once again I was reminded of Psalm 80, as this part is repeated three times there:
Restore us. O God;
Make your face shine upon us,
That we may be saved. (NIV)
The pieces during this time in prayer were all coming together. The Psalm, with those words of God's face shining upon us, the reference to the hand on the shoulder that tied in with the stained-glass window, the words that God gave Lilia about faith, boiling it down to the preciseness of that is all He is asking of us...to simply have faith in our Almighty God!
We left this retreat area long after Lilia's expected arrival home, but we left having met our God in a new and exciting way, learning many things about how when two or more are gathered, He is there. How when we wait on Him and seek Him with all our heart, He will be found by us. How fellowship with one another is essential in bringing all the pieces together to see the perfect design of God in each day. Lilia wasn't even late upon arriving home. Her four o'clock appointment was actually at five! Simply amazing!
Concrete answers to prayer sometimes come, giving us clear direction and guidance, but mostly I believe prayer is designed to experience what we did today--that God is alive and active in our lives--willing to meet us where we're at when we spend time with Him!
That is all God is asking of us...and in that, He blesses us in amazing ways!
And, He's a lot of fun! I'm including with this message the picture we took on this day, with the camera that Lilia brought along...and I'm normally the camera person! God has all bases covered, but usually not in the way we most expect them to be!
Enjoying our Living God,
Diane
