"The House..."

01/30/2004

Have you ever seen a movie that stays with you your entire life? I have. It was in the early 80's I believe, and I had the afternoon off. The kids were with their grandparents and my friend had also found a babysitter. We were headed out for an afternoon of fun, so we went to the movies. The movie we picked was "Sophie's Choice." I still remember our reaction when it was all over. We were stunned. Our afternoon of "fun" had turned very serious with the horror of the concentration camps and the loss of life we had witnessed, especially the children and the "choice" that Sophie had to make. I remember it all too well...

I wonder if twenty years from now I will still remember the afternoon Jim and I saw the movie, "The House of Sand and Fog." We didn't know what we were heading into, we simply showed up to see a movie and since the other one we were interested in had already started, we picked this one. I knew it was about a battle over a house but that was about it.

But that wasn't it, it wasn't about the house, it was about so much more than that. It was about all the things that we cling to in this life and about being right and about going to any length to not disappoint our parents, our wives, our children. It was about our focus being on the things of this world rather than our Father in heaven when it seems life is being unfair to us. It is about being human and making mistakes and making choices that can lead to our utter destruction. Sophie had a choice to make in her movie. It was the most horrific of all choices that any parent would have to make. These people had choices to make, and they had no idea where it would lead them, they only knew one thing, they were "right" and nothing was going to make them give up what was rightfully theirs.

Declare me innocent, O Lord,
for I have acted with integrity.
Psalm 26:1

Because both parties in this movie were right, there was no bad guy and no one to cheer for. It was difficult because both sides were entitled to the same house and there was no easy answer. (I won't go into all the details, for that you'll have to see the movie.) What is so distressing about this movie is that it could be anyone of us. Haven't we all been in a situation where we know we are right but it doesn't change a thing?

Just today, Jim was on the phone with a dealership. We were having some work done on our truck--work that was originally ordered when we purchased our truck. It was work that had been paid for, but work that was never completed. Now we were back at the dealership over a year later to have it completed. Why? Because the dealership was in Phoenix and it was the first time we had been in Phoenix since purchasing our truck. The other dealers that we took it to have said, "You have to go back to where you bought it to get it done under the warranty." So, here we are and now they are saying, "It's been too long."

They are right, and we are right.
It was paid for, but it was never completed-we are right.
It has been a long time and it is not normally covered--they are right.

Wow, did this sound familiar? As I listened to Jim on the phone discussing this situation with their warranty person, I remembered "The House..." I thought how easy it is to find ourselves in a situation where both parties are right and no one will "give." What do you do? It can get complicated and it can get messy and bad choices can be made...as in the movie. Our situation turned out fine. Jim agreed that they were right and they agreed to fix our truck anyway. Thank you God!

In the movie, it was more like this:

Turn to me and have mercy on me,
for I am alone and in deep distress.
My problems go from bad to worse.
Oh, save me from them all.
Feel my pain and see my trouble.
Psalm 25:16-18

Some decisions made in life can cause us total destruction. Problems can grow way out of proportion when we cling to the things of this world and the fact that we are right instead of trusting God. Is this what God's Word says? Just because we are right, and we know it, do we fight for that "right" with all our might, or do we turn to God and put it in His hands? Do we let go of our pride and submit to what God has for us in any given situation, or do we fight to the bitter end claiming our "rightness"?

I know one thing, after seeing this movie; we would have left the matter of the truck repair in God's hands. Is that what this movie was supposed to teach us? Can God use a movie to draw us closer to Him? It can sure make you think about what is important in this life! If God wants us to have certain things, we will have them. If He doesn't, we won't, and He has good reason for however it turns out-even when it doesn't seem fair.

My eyes are always looking to the Lord for help,
for he alone can rescue me from the traps of my enemies.
Psalm 25:15

It seemed the characters in this movie were enemies, but they were not. They were just ordinary people with ordinary problems, and they wanted what it seemed life owed them. Both had seen their share of problems and they didn't want those problems to ruin the rest of their lives, they wanted another chance to make things better. But things got worse...and decisions were made that shocked everyone in the theater. The most shocking thing is, most of us would have made similar mistakes. We would have taken our eyes off our Lord, the only One who has all the answers, and we would have fought to the death to prove we were right. "Oh my"...was all that kept running through my head as we left the show that day. "Oh my..."

The one thing I ask of the Lord-
the thing I seek most
is to live in the house of the Lord all
the days of my life-
Psalm 27:4

"the house of the Lord," if we would only dwell there. If we would only choose to spend our time there, building our relationship with Him, perhaps we wouldn't fight so hard for the things of this world even when we know we are in the right because:

The Lord is my light and my salvation-
so why should I be afraid?
The Lord protects me from danger-
so why should I tremble?
When evil people come to destroy me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will know no fear.
Even if they attack me,
I remain confident.
Psalm 27:1-3

The Lord will fight our battles for us. In the end, it is His decision who will "give" when a truck needs to be repaired under warranty. In the end, it is His decision who will live in a house, no matter what the city or the people have to say. In the end, it is all in God's hands and all we can do is mess it up in the meantime when we think we are in control. And "Oh my," how it got messed up in this movie.

When our focus is on the things of this world, sometimes we give up our very soul for them. We act in ways that we are ashamed of, our lives can be destroyed and in the end, we can lose all hope.

Show me the path where I should walk, O Lord;
point out the right road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.
Psalm 25:4-5

I don't know how to describe what happens in the movie now without giving a great deal of the story away, so if you are still reading this and plan on seeing it, stop here for sure. What I write about now left me stunned-not only because of the turn of events in the movie, but also because of my reaction to them. It was here that God taught me so perfectly again about His hope in the face of great loss.

The events in the film were going from bad to worse. Lives were being destroyed and on the way to take care of the "problem" of the house, the couple's son was shot. The characters were ready to call "uncle." They had all had enough, and they were finding out that this material possession was just not worth what it was costing their lives. But now the son had been shot, and things could no longer be reversed. The cop was devastated, the father was destroyed, and the mother waited at home to hear the resolution of the problem with the house. She had no idea what had just happened to her son.

The father ends up in the hospital pleading with God to save his son, offering God anything, just please save his son-it was too late. After the surgeon delivers the news that his son is dead, the father enters the room where his son lies and pulls back the sheet to see his son's face. He gives him the last kisses good-bye and pulls his hand out from under the sheet to look at it one last time. There was sobbing in the theater...

When the father returns home, the mother is sleeping. She has no idea what has happened, and instead of waking her, the father changes his bloody shirt, fixes his wife a pot of tea filled with an overdose of drugs, and takes it in to her. As she looks at him, with tears in her eyes, she accepts the tea just knowing all did not go well. The words are never spoken between them. 

And here's where I am ashamed of my thoughts...

I don't want her to know about her son either. I don't want her to feel that pain, the pain that I have felt with the loss of a child. I want her to sip her tea and slip away quietly without ever having to feel that devastation. And then when the father takes his own life and the other young woman in the movie rushes in to try and save him, I don't want him to start breathing again. I want him to be able to join his wife and his son in eternity, not having to breathe again, not having to feel the pain of missing him...I want them to be able to go onto heaven and escape it all...BUT, I was wrong!!
My thinking was WRONG!!
My focus was WRONG!
I had gotten caught up in the very thing they were all caught up in the entire movie...this WORLD and all that it contains!!

By sitting there and watching the battle over the house, they had taken me on their wild ride of emotions and I had gotten lost in them. I had forgotten Who was in control, I had forgotten where my hope lies, and I had forgotten that if they are not depending on the one true God and his Son Jesus Christ for eternal life, they did not all go on to heaven to live happily ever after in eternity.

Suicide is NOT the answer for their pain, Jesus Christ IS! They took what looks like the easy way out, and it looks like they escaped it all, but they didn't--not if they don't know Jesus Christ and the Hope He left us with--the Hope that could have brought them through even the greatest trial in their lives. If they hadn't turned to Him before, it was certainly time to turn to Him now for help in their distress. God had become their ONLY answer, because things could not get much worse. No "house" would make them happy now.

When the father grabs his wife's hand as he takes his last breath, he is not going on to join her in heaven unless he has given his life to Jesus Christ. She will not be there to greet him if she has not given her life to Jesus Christ. Their pain in the loss of their son will only be just beginning, not ending, if they are not believers. I got sucked into their "escape" route so quickly, and I am ashamed of that!

But, God has a plan, and God's plan included this movie on this sunny Sunday afternoon in Phoenix. And as we left the theater stunned from the tragedy we had just witnessed in a movie that could have been about anyone of us, God was using it to cause me to fall more deeply in love with Him and the Hope that He has for all believers. He has used this movie to help me loosen my grip even more on the things of this world and focus my attention on His provisions alone and on His Hope!

I did not want this couple to feel the pain that I have felt because their situation seemed so hopeless. God reminded me that with Him, it is not hopeless because He has shown me that in my own loss Hope is not lost. Yes, the pain has been huge, and yes it is a long journey through grief--this couple would have had a lot of painful days with the loss of their child, but God would bring them through it if they allowed Him to. Suicide was not the answer even though I understood their feelings. It seemed that all was lost, but all is never lost when we have Hope in Jesus Christ.

The father spoke of God and prayed to God, but did he know His Son, Jesus Christ? Without the Son of God, there is no hope.
Without the Son, there is no eternal life.
Without the Son, suicide was just the epitome of all the very wrong decisions they were making, and this one could not be reversed.

"Come now, let us argue this out," says the Lord.
"No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it.
I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are
stained as red as crimson, I can make you as white as wool. If you
will only obey me and let me help you, then you will have plenty
to eat. But if you keep turning away and refusing to listen, you will
be destroyed by your enemies. I, the Lord, have spoken!"
Isaiah 1:18-20 

God wants to help us. He will be with us through all our trials, all our difficulties, all the things that seem to have no easy answers if we will only pray to Him and ask Him for His help and wait on His answers. When it seems that all has been lost in our lives, God is our Restorer. Sometimes the journey is long and treacherous, but our Guide is sure, He will see us through.

Yes, I am confident that I will see the
Lord's goodness while I am here
in the land of the living.
Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
Psalm 27:13-14

I sat patiently through this movie, and I wasn't sure why. I wasn't sure how I could even stand to watch it as the sobbing was heard from others there on that day and tears fell from my own eyes-but I believe that God had me there watching it and gave me the strength to sit through it because it was a movie about all of us, not some far-fetched tale of fiction that no one could relate to. We have all been there, in the "right," forgetting that God is in control, and then making decisions that could cost us so much more than the worth of the very thing we are gripping so tightly to, and in the end losing all hope when disaster befalls us.

Yes, this story could have been about any of us, but on this day, it wasn't. It was only a fictitious movie and I thank God for that because nothing on this earth is worth the loss of those most precious to us, and nothing on this earth should distract us from trusting in the only One who has all the answers. When these situations arise, which they do every day, let's learn from a movie if we must to turn our eyes heavenward and release it into God's care. Let's ask for His help before all hope has been seemingly lost, and let's trust in His answers accepting that He knows what is best.

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
I trust in you, my God!
Do not let me be disgraced,
or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.
No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced,
but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.
Psalm 25:1-3

Sometimes, God can change the paths of our lives by watching a movie and learning from it, sometimes it takes a real life situation to get our attention. I prefer the movies because I can get up and walk out of a theater saying, "Thank God, that's not my life."

We can do the same with God's Word. We can read of those in the past who have turned their backs on God and suffered seemingly needlessly, and we can read of those who trusted in their Savior and were blessed by it. That's not to say life is without problems when we trust in God, it is only to say that He will see us through whatever we must face and it doesn't have to go from bad to worse because of the wrong decisions we make when we are living without His guidance each day. If we truly want to be "right," let's look to Him for our answers to life's problems.

The Lord is good and does what is right;
he shows the proper path to those who go astray.
He leads the humble in what is right,
teaching them his way.
Psalm 25:8-9

The Lord has said to me in the strongest terms:
"Do not think like everyone else does. Do not
be afraid that some plan conceived behind closed
doors will be the end of you. Do not fear anything
except the Lord Almighty. He alone is the Holy One.
If you fear him, you need fear nothing else."
Isaiah 8:11-13

Living and learning His ways,

Diane