Tiny Yellow Flower

Tuesday, 17 Jun 2003

Have you ever read a book that matches perfectly with the trip you are on? A book that describes the landscapes, the waterfalls, the mountains and valleys that surround you?

I have, twice. Once was on a trip in the Spring of 2002, as I read "The Sacred Romance." It made me fall ever so deeply in love with God and His gifts to us. The gift of this world and all the beautiful places that He has given us to enjoy on this planet. Such beauty, words could never really describe.

Then the second time was on this last trip to Colorado from California, which was a fast trip. Very fast!! In fact, Jim and I drove straight through from California to Pueblo, Colorado in just under 24 hours. We had 15 minutes to spare! We took turns driving, while the other one slept - stopping only to eat, empty our tanks and fill the truck's tanks! It was an adventure we enjoyed, arriving in Pueblo to find my parents camped in their trailer by a lake. Their broken-down van had already been hauled away, and they were just awaiting our arrival to tow them home.

Shortly before we left on this trip, I had started reading the book, "Hinds' Feet on High Places."  This book had been mentioned to me by a few people during my journey of grief, and I finally purchased it awhile back to see what it was all about. As it says on the cover, it is "The beloved story of Much-Afraid and her exciting journey to the High Places."

I've never read a book quite like it, being that Much-Afraid is the main character, her relatives are called the Fearlings, and her cousins have names like Pride, Bitterness, Self-Pity, and Resentment. Her two travelling companions are named Sorrow and Suffering.

Perhaps you can get the picture, perhaps not, but suffice it to say, it is not your ordinary book of characters. It is a book that helps you to see the spiritual world in a new and clever way. By giving so-called personalities to these human emotions, they are seen in a new light. As Much-Afraid travelled on her journey to the High Places, her cousins would make their appearances at the opportune times to stir up all the emotions in her that could bring her down and keep her from reaching the High Places that the Shepherd was leading her to.

Before this starts to sound like a book review, let me get back to why this book was so appropriate for our journey to Colorado and back. During our trip, we saw every different type of terrain imaginable, from the ski slopes in Vail, the desert landscapes of Nevada, the Red Rock Formations of Utah, the lush valleys and white water rapids of Colorado, and what seemed to be the top of the world - Pikes Peak, elevation 14,100 feet above sea level!

As I read along in my book, some of the places the Great Shepherd led Much-Afraid were "On the Shores of Loneliness," through the "Forest of Danger and Tribulation" and in to the "Valley of Loss." I not only got to read about the emotions attributed to those situations, I was able to view terrain that matched with what I was reading.

When the author described coming up a great wall that seemed impassable, I viewed rock mountains that seemed as such. When the author wrote about green valleys of peace, I witnessed gently flowing rivers along the roadway. When the author spoke of a "Detour Through the Desert," I looked out the window to see miles and miles of highway through the most desolate places on earth. It was like watching a movie as I read the words, and it was not only extremely interesting, it was fun! Once again, I am amazed at God's timing to bring me to this book, long ago recommended, at just this time in my life, and I thank Him for His goodness and the caring way as He travels with me each day of my life.

God knew about this week of travel long before we did. He knew that my parents would be in need, and He knew that we would have a truck capable of bringing them home. He knew where they would be located when it was time for them to turn around, and He knew that at their campsite, right outside their window, there would be a single plant, with yellow flowers in bloom. I saw it shortly after our arrival there, and my mom said my Dad would have picked it for her -as he had many times in the past with other flowers - but he knew she would be able to see it from the window, so he left it there for her to enjoy.

God knew that I would see that plant upon our arrival, and He knew that I would be reading this book, and that having just finished Chapter Six, I would have read:

They stayed at the huts in the desert for several days, and Much-Afraid
learned many things which she had never heard before.

One thing, however, made a special impression upon her. In all that great
desert, there was not a single green thing growing, neither tree nor flower
nor plant save here and there a patch of straggly grey cacti.

On the last morning she was walking near the tents and huts of the
desert dwellers, when in a lonely corner behind a wall she came upon
a little golden-yellow flower, growing all alone. An old pipe was connected
with a water tank. In the pipe was one tiny hole through which came
an occasional drop of water. Where the drops fell one by one, there
grew the little golden flower, though where the seed had come from,

Much-Afraid could not imagine, for there were no birds anywhere and
no other growing things.

She stopped over the lonely, lovely little golden face, lifted up so hopefully
and so bravely to the feeble drip, and cried out softly, "What is your name,
little flower, for I never saw one like you before."

The tiny plant answered at once in a tone as golden as itself, "Behold me!
My name is 'Acceptance-with-Joy.'"
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"Acceptance-with-Joy!" What a name for a tiny yellow flower! What a perfect example of God being with us on this journey to bring my parents home, to help them begin a new life since their days of travelling throughout the county were coming to an end. What a God we serve!!! He knew this was difficult for them. He knew it was hard to accept this change in their life-style, but He never left them for a minute to do it on their own when their hope rested in Him.

Romans 15:13
So I pray that God, who gives you
hope, will keep you happy and full
of peace as you believe in him. May
you overflow with hope through the
power of the Holy Spirit.
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As we travelled over the miles and miles of terrain coming home, taking it a bit slower since there were four of us now, we saw God in each mile.

He was with us as we attempted to file down their hitch with square corners into ours with round. He was with us as we loaded up the belongings they had stored in their van, and put them into our truck compartments. It seemed it would never all fit, but it did.

He was with us as we ascended Pike's Peak for my Dad's birthday, giving us a beautiful day, only to end up with it snowing on the top of this mountain making it all the more incredible!

He was with us as we travelled on to Vail and upon spending the night there, directed us to a wonderful restaurant where entree's were 50 percent off on that very night.

He was with us as we headed towards Las Vegas, arriving in town in the mid-morning hours. As we checked into our hotel and were needing to put things in our room for the time being, the hotel clerk told us our rooms were ready and we could enter them at anytime, even though it was only 10 a.m. What happened to the typical 3 p.m. check-in time?

He was with us by providing not only a storage place for their trailer, but covered as well! In that Las Vegas heat, the cover was very much appreciated.

He was with us as we all needed a break from the long hours and stress involved in moving -by making the timing as such - we were able to see a live show in the afternoon full of laughs and great entertainment.

He was with us as we drove the long drive home from Vegas and arrived back in the Bay Area with the sun still up and the place my parents will be living in ready and waiting, with their "new" car in the garage and keys on the counter.

He was with us, in so many ways, we were awed with how God will "keep you happy and full of peace as you believe in him." (Romans 15:13)

Acceptance with Joy...not always easy when cousins Pride, Bitterness, Resentment, and Self-Pity want to rear their ugly heads, but made possible when led by the Great Shepherd to the High Places.

That is where the Shepherd was leading Much-Afraid, to the High Places, but the journey was long and there were many places she had to pass through before arriving there. Her travelling companions Suffering and Sorrow where not exactly what she was hoping for. She had to take their hands as she travelled through the valleys and the deserts and along the shores and it was not always easy. In fact, most times it was very difficult. The Shepherd told her, "When you wear the weed of impatience in your heart instead of the flower 'Acceptance-with-Joy,' you will always find your enemies get an advantage over you."'

What an enjoyable way to be reading a book - travelling along and seeing it played out as in a movie before my very eyes! We can either accept our lives with joy, or we can fight against what is, and hate every single day of the journey. I could go there. I could hate this journey, because that "weed of impatience" wants to take root! It wants to grow wild inside of me and see the final picture. It wants everything now, and it wants answers now, and it wants relief now from any sorrow and suffering that this life holds. I don't want to take the hand of Sorrow and Suffering and have them lead me through this life, but those are the hands that God has given me to grab hold of. If I do not travel with them, I will be refusing the path He has me on, and I truly believe I will fall off into the dark abyss of this life and never truly live again. Acceptance with Joy is the only choice that will lead me to the High Places. To the places where I will be "happy and full of peace."

Be glad for all God is planning for you.
Be patient in trouble, and always be
prayerful. When God's children are in
need, be the one to help them out.
Romans 12:12-13
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It was a privilege to go and help my parents out. When we think we are the ones who are helping others, we are the ones truly being blessed. Somehow in God's way of doing things, it is always opposite from what we expect.

In reading this book, it spoke to my heart. I have learned things in the dark valleys, in the torrential storms, in the dry deserts that I never could have learned any other way. I hate the thought that my son had to die so that I could find those High Places - so that I could learn to truly follow the Shepherd and scale those tall mountains with ease, or take the hands of Sorrow and Suffering as my companions through this life. Those are things I never would have chosen, but then who would I be without this journey? God knew this journey was necessary because as it says on page 236:

"She began to understand quite clearly that truth
cannot be understood from books alone or by any written
words, but only by personal growth and development in
understanding, and that things written even in the Book of Books
can be astonishingly misunderstood while one still lives in the
low levels of spiritual experience and on the wrong side of the
grave on the mountains."
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There are things I understand now that I never could have understood before. I never could have understood what it means to lose everything and have God be even bigger than that loss. I never could have understood how God's blessings are seen best in the darkest times in our lives. I never could have understood how much God loves us even when it seems He has abandoned us in our pain. I never could have understood without going through that fire and coming out on the other side, that it will not burn me, it will not destroy me, but it will make me stronger and more alive in HIM than ever before. The depth of pain that is felt is equal to the depth of love that is felt when we will take hold of whatever "companions" we are given in this life and walk with them to the High Places.

The High Places are the places where we end up when we don't let go of the hand of our "companions." It is the place where we are transformed and where our companions are transformed into something entirely new. It is not heaven, it is not after-death, but it is here on this earth, while we still live. It is the place where we arrive after we have travelled the many miles through the deserts and the valleys and been lonely, been sad, felt hurt and pain and sorrow and abandonment and suffering and abuse and whatever else this world can dish out and it has not destroyed us, but only made us more determined to follow the Shepherd each day. To listen for His voice and look for His blessings along the way. It is the place where we start to see His hand on everything, and where we trust Him with everything even when it doesn't make sense to us! It is the place where we say, "I know You're there. Even if I can't feel You. Even if I can't see You. Even if I can't hear You. I trust You! I believe You! I want nothing more than You!"

"Hinds' Feet on High Places" ends in that transformation. I won't tell you the new names given to Much-Afraid and her travelling companions Suffering and Sorrow - just in case you'd like to read this book - but I can tell you that it does clear up some of the day to day dealings with the dark side of the spiritual world around us. When Bitterness creeps in the back door, when Self-Pity is lurking outside the window, When Pride rears its ugly head, or when Aunt Dismal drops by for a visit, I see them in a new light now. I see them as the family of "Fearlings" that only seek to destroy my life.

Having arrived back from Colorado on Friday, we are so thankful for all that God provided on our journey. It was not without deserts and valleys and high mountaintops, but through it all, we saw God as our travelling companion and from the very start -with that little yellow flower beside the trailer - He was teaching us that "Acceptance with Joy" was the only way to arrive "home" safely.

We may want to argue with God for the work He is doing in our lives because the way is difficult, the path is sometimes confusing, and the "terrain" can be scary, but as Paul says:

Should the thing that was created say to the one who
made it, "Why have you made me like this?" When a potter
makes jars out of clay, doesn't he have a right to use the
same lump of clay to make one jar for decoration and
another to throw garbage into? God has
every right to exercise his judgment and his power, but he
also has the right to be very patient with those who are
the object of his judgment and are fit only for destruction.
He also has the right to pour out the riches of his glory upon
those he prepared to be the objects of his mercy - even
upon us, whom he selected, both from the Jews and from the Gentiles.
Romans 9:20-24
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With God as the potter, we don't always know what He is forming and why, but we can rest in the fact that He does know exactly what He is doing. We are safe in His hands, even when the molding does not feel very good. The final product will be perfection, and only perfection is allowed  into the Kingdom of Heaven. When these bodies of clay are finished here on earth, when we have been through the fire and washed clean with the blood of Jesus, we will be ready for the Kingdom of Heaven. The Highest Place of all!! What a glorious day that will be!!

Living in His peace and joy,

Diane