Those Eyes

Sunday, 20 Jul 2003

It was on the Sci-Fi channel. I don't really know what the whole story was about, but the part that gripped my attention was between a father and a son. The world they lived in was about to be destroyed and there were certain people chosen to "live on" in the capsules provided. They would step into those capsules and be put into a deep sleep, then awaken many hundreds of years later. Their world would be gone, and they would be a few of the chosen survivors left to carry on.

As the father knelt down to look directly into his child's frightened eyes, he explained to him what was about to happen. The young boy would step inside, close his eyes, and the next thing he would experience, would be their reunion. He would know nothing in the meantime, even though he would spend hundreds of years in the capsule on their ship.

The young boy was understandably frightened. The look in his eyes would break your heart, but the father remained strong and reassuring, as he told the boy everything was going to be okay and that he had nothing to fear. The boy had nothing to go on really, except to trust his father. He had to believe what he was telling him, and do what he was telling him, even with the fear that he felt. There was no choice--to look back, their world was being destroyed--to look forward, contained only the unknown.

Now, I rarely watch Sci-Fi, but in all of life, I think we can learn something new, experience something new, or see God revealed in unexpected ways.

This short clip, in this short story, reminded me so much of the look in Phil's eyes as he was about to leave the world he knew and step into the unknown of heaven. Just as this young boy in the story had probably seen these capsules built, knew what their function was, had heard about when they might be used, he was still frightened.

Just as Phil had heard about heaven, had experienced God's peace through his many trials, and knew this world was not all there was, he was still frightened. And he looked at me...he looked me right in the eye as I explained to him as best I could all that God had in store for him. He looked at me with the same expression this young boy had as he looked in his father's eyes..."please tell me this is really going to be okay."

We have a responsibility as parents in a moment like this that goes beyond anything we ever expected in this life. Never would I have thought when Phil was born that I would look into his eyes one day and tell him about heaven--because he would be going there before me. Oh, we could teach him the ways of God, about an eternity spent with Jesus and all that Jesus had died to give us in that eternity, but...that is quite different than looking into your child's eyes and saying good-bye to them. Telling them to go on, it will be okay, and I'll be right behind you, you won't even miss me.

Phil and I read a book in the last ten days or so of his life. It was a book of fictional letters written from a group of people on earth in a Bible Study. These letters would somehow be sent to heaven and answered, and then sent back. All the questions they sent to heaven were all the questions we all have at times. What will our new bodies be like, will we actually eat, will we know one another, will we have wings? The book had chapter after chapter of these questions being answered in a Biblical way with Scriptural references. It explained as best it could, what we might expect upon our arrival there. It comforted Phil as we read a chapter or so a day, giving him a better picture of what he might expect when he exited that "capsule" of transition from the life he knew into the life that was ahead of him.

And then, there came a time when that book was not enough. When the fictional stories it carried were weightless compared to the questions that weighed heavy on his mind. Questions that only the Bible alone could answer, I believe, because of the anointing on God's word. There is no other book we could ever read that is alive like the Word of God. There are some great books out there, and I have read a lot of them, but none of them carries the weight that God's Mighty Word does. None of them comfort like the Word, or reveal the plans of God like the Word. None comes close to being all that we need like the Word.

Some may say, "but I don't understand the Bible."

Phil didn't either. Not completely. Who really does? But God's Word is so special that just reading it will comfort those in need. Just reading it to Phil in his final days brought peace into his room and into his heart. It was an amazing thing to witness.

I think the enemy wants to keep us out of the Word of God. He knows the power it contains, so he fills our heads full of lies...it is boring, I don't understand it, it never speaks to me, I don't have time...and the excuses go on and on. It gathers dust and we miss out on the greatest Book of all times. It is the only Book that is never the same each time we pick it up. The only Book that holds all of life's answers, and the only Book that we cannot possibly understand in the flesh.

Any other book, we can read, we can discuss, we can debate, in the flesh. Not the Word of God! It makes no sense in the flesh, it only makes sense when our spirit is alive in Christ.

Any other book that I pick up to read may offer me many good things. I can learn many things, and I can apply them to my life if I choose, but it is not the living, breathing Word of God.

I never know what to expect when I open my Bible. I never know if God is going to speak a word to me that day, reveal some new plan for my day, put something in my heart for a later time, help me cope with what I am not able to, dry my tears or cause tears to fall. I can read the same scripture that I've read time and time again, and see it in a way I never have before when God opens my eyes to what He has for me on that day.

And when we come to a time in our lives when we look into another's eyes and they are frightened beyond anything we ever imagined because they cannot comprehend what lies ahead in a new and different world, it is the only Book that we can offer them that makes any sense at that moment.

It was the only Book that Phil wanted in his final days. It was the only Book that I could read to him that would answer every question he had in his head, and he told me so. As I lay next to him on his bed and read the Word to him, the tears started to fall and he said, "Mom, everything you're reading answers every question I have in my head."

Could he understand all that I read to him? I doubt it. He was much too sick to understand the complexity that can seem to be in God's Word, but that was not a problem because what I was reading to him was of the Spirit. God's Spirit. It did not need to be understood in the words we used, but only listened to by an open heart willing to allow God's embrace. Willing to allow God's love into his heart, so that it could heal him of the doubt and fear that the enemy was trying to inflict in those final moments.

Oh, the enemy will fight until the bitter end. He will not give up! He does not want us crossing over that line into eternity with Jesus and missing out on us spending eternity in Hell with him. He wants us to burn, not to celebrate. Why? I don't know, but that's one of those many questions.

"Phil, it's going to be okay." I'm not sure I spoke those exact words, I have no recollection of when I said them if ever, but those words had to be lived out in front of him. He was watching, and there were moments when he was scared--he didn't want to leave this world without his family--but there comes a time where what we want will not stop what is to be. There are many decisions we can make in this life with the free will that God has given us, but I believe that the decision to live or die lies solely in the hands of God. I saw Phil take his first breath, and I saw him take his last, and there was not a thing in this world that I could have done to control either one of those moments. Without the breath of God, we would all perish in an instant.

If God were to take back his spirit and withdraw his breath,
all life would cease, and humanity would turn again to dust.
Job. 34:14-15
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Those eyes will never be forgotten...Phil's eyes as he looked directly into mine in his final days. I know that is why I was drawn to the eyes of this young boy in a Sci-Fi flick. Sure, it was just a silly story written and put on the screen to entertain, but I could not look away from those eyes, because I had seen them before. Eyes looking to a parent for the comfort that only God could give. It's not humanly possible. It's not of the flesh to give comfort in that moment, so my eyes had to look directly into my Father's eyes to be able to give any comfort to Phil. I had to keep my focus on what God had taught me, on what I knew of God, so that I could pass that onto my son in his final moments. He needed me to be the eyes of God in that moment because he was looking for them. He was about to step through that thin veil from life to death on this earth, and come face to face with the eyes of the Living God.

Does God see all of our eyes like I saw Phil's? Do we all have the eyes of a child on this earth desperately looking up for reassurance that it really is going to be okay? Assurance that when we step into that "capsule" and come out on the other side, we will be reunited with those we love who also chose to step into the "capsules" of Jesus Christ's Redemption? I think so! Our children look to us like we have all the answers and what they may never realize is that we are scared too. We are children too. We don't have all the answers and we're not even sure what we want to be when we grow up either. We struggle through each day, just as they do, only now we are wise enough to know that we don't know everything and we never will. We have grown, and we have learned, and what we have learned is that the more we learn, the more there is out there left to learn.

Our children look to us with those eyes, and those are the very same eyes that we turn heavenward and look to our Father in heaven with. Scared eyes, frightened eyes, eyes filled with tears and questions and needing reassurance. "Please tell me it's going to be okay..."

And what is our Father's answer? What does He tell us when we stand before Him and He is our only hope to get through the day that lies ahead? What does He tell us when we are about to step into something we've never experienced before, and we really don't want to? Can you hear Him?...

Trust Me, He says.
Follow Me, He pleads.
Seek Me, and you will find Me, He explains.
I promise if you do, it's really going to be okay.

If you need wisdom--if you want to know
what God wants you to do--ask him, and
he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your
asking.
James 1:5
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How simple is that? And how frightened are we, or how confused are we, before we will get to the point of asking God?

I did this exact thing recently. I was reading along in my Bible and I came to this verse in James and I stopped and I said, "God, what would you have us do about our house?" And God clearly answered me, "Chris and Holly." I knew it was the voice of God. It was clear. It was concise. It was direct.

God will speak to us in many different ways, and one of the ways is directly to us when we ask Him a question. Don't ask me what the voice of God sounds like, I could not really describe it. I know that God has spoken to me through other people, through His word, through a song, through a sermon, and sometimes directly into my heart like He did on this day. A voice that is heard by your heart, and not with your ears, is just...different, and hard to describe.

I was in bed at the time, and I got out of bed and went out to see Jim. I told him what God had just said, and he accepted it because he knows his wife well enough to know that I am not completely crazy, just a little crazy. We both knew that only God could make this happen because it would take a miracle with the price of housing in the Bay Area, but we contacted Chris and Holly and began the journey that God was taking us all on. Through this journey there were many detours and lots of signs along the road that seemed to say "This will never work!" We continued to keep the house on the market but did not receive one single offer in almost 5 months. All during this time, we prayed for God's direction. We prayed for the house to sell. We prayed for Chris and Holly and what God would have for them in this...and we waited. The wait seemed long, but it was different than waits in the past because we have learned a lot about patience. We have learned a lot about God's timing in things and we have learned that God cannot be rushed. For some strange reason, God like's to wait until the last possible moment to proceed. Probably, because God is never in a hurry!! Go figure!!

The months were passing, the hopes seemed to be diminishing that Chris and Holly could actually have the house, and we continued to pray about the house selling. Each night as we would pray over our meal, we would also pray, "And God, please sell the house."
Until this week... As Jim finished praying, I tacked on, "and God please sell the house."
Jim's response was, "NO!"

What? I was shocked. What do you mean "NO!" Jim began to explain some things to me and all the pieces started falling into place, and we contacted Chris and Holly and had a meeting with them about the situation we were finding ourselves in. What we presented to them was a no risk offer from us, and a full-of-possibilities offer to them in a Lease-Option situation. I'll never forget when Jim asked them when their lease was up and Holly answered, "In two days." God's perfect timing!

They thought about their answer and then our son Chris gave me a call a couple of days later and said, "We're in."

The answer that God had given me to my direct question about the house had come about. It was an answer that only could have happened with the hand of God on the entire situation. When God spoke to me on that day, it seemed that there was no possible way for this to happen, but we saw God move a mountain.

Further down in that verse in James about asking God and He will gladly tell you, it says:

But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer,
for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is
driven and tossed by the wind.
James 1:6
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I doubted that this was humanly possible, but I never doubted that it was God possible. I knew that if God wanted Chris and Holly to have the house, they would. We just needed take a back seat in the process and to watch Him work through the situation. God is a much better driver than we are anyway!

When God opens the doors for us today, we have a tendency to go way ahead of Him, cross a zillion bridges that may crop up in the future, and shrink back from what God is blessing us with. We started to "go there" even when this answer came about our house, but we knew that if we did not trust God for today, we would miss out on what God has for us tomorrow. Living this day for God is all that He calls us to do--not to worry about the future. The enemy wants to keep our focus so far ahead on what troubles may be brewing out there that we never enjoy the coffee God is offering to us today to drink. It is warm, it is comforting, and it was never meant to last more than just this day. Tomorrow a new pot will be brewed. God wants to take care of our futures, and we need to look directly into His eyes, with our childlike eyes, and ask Him if it is going to be okay. Ask Him for His reassurance that by stepping into His "capsule," we will come out on the other side and meet Him face to face. We are His children, He has called us to join His family, and He will never leave us alone to face this world without Him.

This story about our house will be a continuing story, as all our lives are. By walking each step with God, I truly believe the best is yet to come. I believe that He will tell us what He wants us to do if we will ask Him and wait on Him for His perfect timing in all things, and we will be amazed at how He can move mountains.

We don't have all the answers, all we have are a bunch of questions that seem to be hanging out there in some Sci-Fi world we don't understand. We don't understand the wait, or the timing or the why's or the what for's, but God does. All He requires of us are to be little children, and look into His eyes so that He can tell us it's all going to be okay, trust Me, I know what I'm doing here. I will see you through whatever life holds, and we will spend eternity together if you believe in Me and all my Son died to give you on the Cross at Calvary.

God blesses the people who patiently
endure testing. Afterward they will receive
the crown of life that God has promised to
those who love him.
James 1:12
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He promises!!
We will not be disappointed!
Keep those eyes on Him for reassurance in all things!

Living in His peace and joy,
Diane